...followed by an awesome weekend!

yeah, I know....not time for another post yet, but I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Jaanie.

And because I don't want this to be a two-line post, I might ramble on a bit more about what's been going on in the last coupla days....

so yeah, this weekend has just been great! I mean, all i did is drive around the coast (even though this car hiring thing was a bit of a pain in the arse...), chill loads and loads, go out on the piss Sat night with the girls in Cape Town, and I actually went for a run at the beach which was just awesome and afterwards I felt like a new person! So good!
The guys at the backpackers are just cool and it was so good to chat to other people again, meet up with other volunteers and share stories, etc. Harvey was there which was great fun and I had a good chat with him about my project so now I'm convinced I'm not gonna give up straight away, I've gotta give it at least another go.
I've rented a car now for two weeks to see how things go and I'm thinking of keeping it for the rest of my stay here. It's just so much easier and I can actually get to places. It's the only way to get around and for me to get to the pool or the gym to do some exercise. And after Jaan has been reporting how disciplined he has been with his work out, I really can't be all that slack...! hehe...

So after a tasty barbie (braai, in afrikaans) we picked up Doreen in Cape Town and went home in a very loud car (never mind - we fucked up the exhaust real good, trying to go up a gravel road. We got stuck halfway up so we put down the gas, tyres spinning, rocks flying everywhere. So we knocked a whole in the exhaust and I called the car rental place, giving them shit about giving me a fucked up car. So they'll exchange the car next weekend, but until thenI've just gotta drive around like that. anyways.).
This morning we had our weekly meeting again where I told them the story of our day in the creche on Friday. So now there's always gonna be a teacher around when we're there to assist.

Then on Friday arvo another volunteer arrived, Tess, from England. She's been to the Kibbutz before and is a total fan of it. She's quite cool, 19 and curses like a bloody sailor - so totally my cuppa tea. She gives me a lot of shit but she doesn't mind taking any from me so I think we'll get along fine.

And then...hehe, here goes another rather scary story from the kibbutz, so Angi - you might wanna just skip the next bit....;)

Last night, after we got back, we all fell fast asleep and I sleep with my window open. Against every advise, I've gotta admit. It's just that the air is so bad in our room cos it's so hot during the day that I feel like I suffocate when the window is closed. So, it's been fine for the last month. Until last night.
So here's what happened: I sleep on my belly and I was dreaming some weird shit, something where I couldn't move my hands. That woke me up and I realise I REALLY can't move my hands. So I look up to the window and I look into a black face of a total stranger, he's holding my hands through the burglar bars and I'm thinking: "what the hell..?!" So I shout at him "fuck off!" and he disappears and all of a sudden Doreen's like : "man, that was fucking scary!" and I'm like :"what the fuck just happened?" So we kinda crack up laughing cos the whole situation was so bizarre but I guess we both know that this could have ended a bit differently.
So yeah, really weird and I guess from now on I'll just have to keep the window shut. And maybe follow the advise given.....

Anyways, I better go cos I was actually on my way to the pool but - lucky me - they are cleaning it now so no swimming for me this morning.
Try again tomorrow.

Probably the shortest post I've written so far....


...take care everyone!

a week and a half of pure shit!

well, let's see...this just sucks. I'm tired of the kibbutz, tired of its people, tired of this "let's-wait-til-God-gives-us-a-sign-mentality" and definitely tired of being bored.

But I guess you all must be a bit confused now so I should explain myself....

...so they decided I should be the driver for the kibbutz and I was ok with it, assuming that meant a few trips a week and that I could still continue my projects....WRONG! Driver appearantly means being the idiot, being on call 24/7 , driving long hours because people can't organise themselves and instead of one trip you have to do five. It's been so hot and quite humid here and I really struggle with it, I went to the pharmacy to get me some minerals and vitamins, magnesium and salt tablets but around noon I'm still knocked out. Doesn't bother the kibbutz people, though so on Friday I started driving at 8 in the morning until 5 in the eve. No break and at five I just said: "that's it, no more driving today". So I went to my room and had a heat stroke, with fainting, throwing up, bad headache....the works. I was pissed off as well cos there are three other volunteers who have licences but just cos they just don't feel ok driving, I have to do a job which is normally split with two or three others. Normally, there is a "transport manager" but he's in Cape Town for one year and only comes to the kibbutz on weekends but guess what - that's really not my problem. And that's what I told Shaenette, the kibbutz-coordinator on the meeting on monday. I was in a foul mood, I had to stay at home all weekend because I was sick because of this fucking heat stroke. Pissed me right off.
So at the meeting I demanded a schedule because I'm not gonna be on call 24/7, I have other projects and I just wanted to do some driving to help out. And they all know about my CF and that have to do my nebs which means I get up 2 hours early every morning. So I told them to let me know if I'm needed before 8 for driving cos then I'd have to get up in time.
But do you think they care?! Yeah, at the meeting everyone agreed with me, two days later (no schedule has been set up, of course.) they knock on the door at 7 am, wanting me to drive them somewhere. And I refused. I told them, that's not on, I was in the middle of doing my nebs and I'm not jumping whenever someone just fucking snaps their fingers. Fuck that!
So we had a bit of an issue and I told them basically if they keep bitching, they can just find themselves another driver. I'm so tired of this bullshit! I haven't done anything in the library since I got the driver's job, not even talking about doing any exercise. and that's another thing: I asked if I could use the kibbutz car 3 times a week in the mornings to go swimmimg or to the local gym (the places are not that far but to walk there would be something like suicide...)and I have been told it wouldn't be a problem. Turns out, it is. Appearantly the car is needed. And ther's no one who will walk me to the pool and you can't rely on minibus taxis here. Which basically means, I can't go. After I have been stressing for four weeks now, how I need to do some exercise to keep (or get!) my lungs in shape.Pissed me off again.
I realised they had no structure at the kibbutz and I know we can't just show up and tell them how thing are done in "our world" but damn, there's just no support!
On Tuesday the girls organised a Valentines ball with music and a dance competition and they had to pay for the prices and printing the posters out of their own pockets! And of course, Shaenette scanned the music because as a christian, they can't listen to bad language. so half of the chosen hip hop / R'n'B Songs got kicked out five minutes before the ball started.
Funny thing though, when the girls started getting ready for the ball(clothes, make-up, hair, etc.) they actually showed up with this hair straightener which is at least the size of a blow-dryer and I was like "what the hell..?!" I mean, if you're backpacking, don't you just carry the stuff that's absolutely necessary for the trip..? The very last thing I would pack is a bloody hair straightener..!! Well, I guess, my definition of "absolutely necessary" differs very much from theirs, hehe... was great fun watching them all do each others hair, though..;) They asked us if we wanted our hair done as well, and Doreen and I were just like :" nah, thanks, we're alright". If I ever change my mind about that, letting them make my hair look like spaghetti, I'll make sure to post a picture..haha
Thursday (this week) I started to feel better so I went swimming in the morning (lucky me- a taxi came along!) and in the arvo I went to the town hall where Juan (the non-christian at the kibbutz I told you about) works. He introduced me to Colin, a friend of his whom he met in prison and who's working in the economic/tourism department here in Breede Valley (Worcester is part of that). I said I'd be interested in doing some voluntary work for him and he has actually worked and lived at the kibbutz and...well, he's not a fan at all. He found it quite boring (it is!) and not at all structured (that's what I'm saying!). He's annoyed by the christian holy-holy attitude and he just felt like his time there was kinda wasted. Juan himself is critisizing a lot about the kibbutz so I'm not really sure why he's still living there. It just feels good to talk to people outside of the kibbutz and hear their opinion about it (which in some cases is not that different from mine). So I'll be working with Colin once a week, starting next tuesday and I'm quite excited. I feel so bored at the kibbutz cos first you have to find something to do but then you don't get any support and sometimes they don't even want you to do certain things because they know you're leaving sooner or later.
Then they told us yesterday that we have a class of 5-6 year olds today at the creche all day from 8am-2pm. we have to do some teaching and we were supposed to be given a lesson plan cos we don't even know those kids nor their level of skills. To no one's surprise, the lesson plan never arrived. And they told us about the class last night so we didn't have any time nor material to prepare anything so I knew we were bound to be frustrated at the end of the day. None of us has teaching experience, I only have done the TEFL course but all the exercises there assume you know the kids' level of english.
Oh, I just had no idea.....
So Angie, Kate and I walked into the class this morning, full of energy and also very unsure of what to do but basically we felt quite confident about getting things done somehow.
Then we stood in front of 52 kids, most of them fighting, throwing chairs or rucksacks at each other, pulling each others hair, crying, jumping on the tables, etc. CHAOS. And they wouldn't listen. I mean, we tried every bloody thing....nope. They just didn't give a shit. They even hit Angie (poor girl isn't much taller than the kids) so I just had it. I just did mayor damage prevention but there's absolutely no way to do any teaching. And I was pissed off at Natalie, whose class we were having for not giving us any assistance. At two the three of us were dead. I mean, Kate and Angie had been screaming at them for 6 hours straight. And we all agree thet this was the first and the last time of having a class in the creche on our own.

So yeah, for this weekend we hired a car to (finally!) get back to Cape Town and relaxing at the chill'n'surf backpackers. And guess who's driving..?! Hehe..yep, it's me! But I don't mind that much, this isn't the kibbutz car.
Then I hired a car for the next two weeks, see how it goes with my extercise. maye I'll have to get one for the rest of my stay cos the Kibbutz is driving me mad. And now I'm over the flu, so I really wanna do some sports. I went swimmimg the other day and it was awesome! I felt so much better afterwards!
Tonight there's a pool party down the road, tomorrow we're off to the beach to catch a wave or two (and probably bust our arses more than once on that bloody board!!), another party saturday night, chilling out on sunday and watching some new volunteers arive and then Sunday eve or Monday morning head back to the Kibbutz...even though we all don't feel like going back for a while. The girls are off anyways in two weeks time and when i see them planning their trips around Soth Africa I just wanna pack my bags and go. I really don't think I want to do the kibbutz for another two months if it's the way it has been for the past 4 weeks. Doreen wants to go to Johannesburg at the end of march and asked if i wanted to join her. Get a job, not voluntary though. Just something that pays for food and accomodation. Maybe in a hostel or something. But then I feel like I've failed again, leaving the kibbutz early. I dunno, I guess I have to think about it real good before I make a decision. I guess I shouldn't have put it on this blog yet, this whole idea of leaving early but, hell, I thought I'd let you know what's going on in my mind. Anyways, I won't make a decision any time soon. see if things get better or whatever.

So enough of the bitching, sorry for this ill-mooded post everyone but I'm just annoyed at the moment and I had ti get things off my chest. And, this is my blog anyways so I can be bitchy if I wanna..:)
Before I head off and get ready for the party, thanks guys for the lovely emails and comments, I especially enjoy reading them at the moment when things are not the greatest here.

And Doc, I know this is pathetically late but I haven't been on the net since my last post so I just wanted to wish you a belated "HAPPY BIRTHDAY", Harro said you'd be out of town (smart move, really!)but I hope you had a great day and you're enjoying your holidays in the warm weather! And thanks for the kind post by the way!

still a waitress at heart...

Hey y'all..back in town, this time I'm at the white internet place though because the coloyred one shut down (the owner probably got shot..)

So what's been going on? Well, first of all, I've had a GREAT weekend, which started actually Friday morning when everyone from the volunteer house took off to the station.
At the Kibbutz we had a rummage sales, kinda like a flea market and everything was ridiculously cheap. a shirt was like 5 Rand , which is like 50 cents. It was open to the community as well and we organised the market to kinda get more people from the flats around involved in the kibbutz. So we had free tea and coffee and because people started to come in at around noon bit by bit, I decided to serve them at the table. It was mostly eldery women who came and they are all really poor so most of them have never been to a restaurant before where they would have been served. And (something I didn't even think about) they (as coloureds)sure as hell have never been served by a white person before! So they were a bit stunned when I greated them and asked whether I could bring them a cuppa tea or coffee...it was great fun though and I guess part of me will always love being a waitress.
So after a chat and an introduction about the kibbutz we had the flea market and it was a huige success. we made about 2000 Rand and half of the women from the community who had been there came back in the evening, asking how they could participate. Mia, the coordinator for the volunteers asked me if I wanted to do stuff with the women, like going to the gym, taking walks or just socialising since they all really liked "the white waitress". So yeah, maybe I'll do that.
On saturday I got of quite early to go into town and go on the net. But they didn't have connection at the cafe and the place for the whites was closed. So I walked to the coloured swimmimg pool and for about two hours I was the only white person there. Not that it bothered me, but you just notice things like this.
Since the pool is not really in town (and this is where you catch a minibus taxi to the kibbutz) and I didn't feel like walking all the way back there, I decided to take the risk and just walk back straight to the kibbutz. I mean, it was around 3.00pm so I thought there wouldn't be too many gangsters hangin' around...
Everything went fine but when I turned into Robertson street (the dangerous one...and the one, where the kibbutz is), my heart was beating a bit faster. Not a lot of people on the street, just two coloured guys walking on the other side of the street. All of a sudden though, one of the turned around to me, crossed the road and started walking towards me. Yeah, there goes an adrenaline rush. I though, that's it, you're getting mugged now.
He said with "salute" which is a ganster greating over here and I replied with it, adding a polite "how are you doing". He was fine, passed me and I had just thought of me being lucky, when he came back, telling me I should wait. It kinda annoyed me the game he appearantly played, I thought, why doesn't he just take my bag and fuck off?!
Anyways, I obviously didn't say any of that, just answered his questions about who I was and what I was doing here (of course, emphasizing that I worked with street kids at the kibbutz, that it's voluntary work so for a good cause and that I don't get paid at all, which I was hoping made clear that there was no poiunt in mugging me...).
So we were chatting while I tried not to stare at his huge scar on his neck or the prison tattoes on his arms. He had lots of dollar and Pound signs tattoed which means that he's a thief.
And then I did something weird. I thought, hell, if that's a gangster trying to hurt me - tough shit, he's got me now. But at least the some others might not bother me. So I asked him to walk me home to the kibbutz. He said, no problem, so we walked down Robertson st, passing loads of other not very trusting looking people and we talked about his family, and his baby daughter and what he's doing and loads of other stuff...I just thought, as long as he talks he won't hurt me. Or so I was hoping. And it worked, I got to the kibbutz, a bit shaky but also feeling stupid cos maybe that had just been a decent guy but because veryone is giving you hoorror stories about the people here you can't pass a person on the street without worrying about being shot.
So yeah, after I got back to the house, I took a shower and tried out my new after sun lotion (here goes sunburn number two) and met Juan, a kibbutznik (the only non-christian on the kibbutz) who has been to jail many times during the apartheid because of his political underground activity for the ANC. An amazing, very wise man, who knows a lot of shit about a lot of shit. I love talking to him and he invited me me to meet some of his friends in the community. That was great, well, they were all a bit drunk from brandy straight from the bottle (very common activity on the weekends here since there is nothing else to do) but very friendly and so interested in my culture and my travels.
Sunday I just chilled, tried to sleep in but didn't work cos I was wide awake t 6 in the morning. So I did my nebs and stuff and started to clean the house until lunch time. In the arvo watched some DVDs with Nick and Shamane from the kibbutz and in the eve, the girls all came home so we shared weekend stories.

Yesterday we had our weekly meeting with the kibbutz staff and talked about some of the projects. I demanded some help from the boys for the library (they start getting the idea that I should pay them for building up THEIR library..?!) which I'll sort out with Ivan, who works with the boys. Souldn't be too big of a problem though. The creche is still a disaster and the girls are getting frustrated cos they're not getting any support. They had a pretty good concept for it but no one's willing to actually change things.
Because Nick is leaving Thursday, they'll need someone who's doing the driving for the kibbutz..and guess who that's gonna be..?!
Exactly, ME!!! And I don't wanna hear any shit from whoever's seen my Twingo car....I AM A GOOD DRIVER! The scratches on the sides were not my fault!! :)
Nah, I had a test drive with Shaenette, the head of the kibbutz andthere's not really anyone else who could do it cos Angie doesn't have a license, Kate and Sarah are scared and Doreen doesn't wanna do it. So that leaves just me and whoever might come as the next volunteer.
And just in case Colin's reading this: I am very good at driving on this side of the road with the kibbutz-van without your instructions, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! :)

So that's been my life here for the last few days. my cold has moved from my sinuses to my lungs so just to let you know: I don't feel to great. Same with Doreen, we're sharing a room so I guess that was bound to happen. The girls have decidedcto quit smoking so now we have to sick ones in the house and the other three are grumpy/bitchy/binge eating due to the lack of nicotine. Great. :)
The heat is not as bad anymore but I'm still popping them vitamin/salt/calcium pills.
Got an appointment on Thurs, 23rd at the CF clinic in Cape Town to say hello. Might get a lung function there and hook up with some local CFers. Should feel better by then.

This weekend I think I'm going back to chill'n surf backpackers, to get some rest, time off from the kibbutz and maybe try to surf (since I din't get to do this in oz, due to this nasty knee injury....HELLO SIDEBAR IN SYDNEY!!!)

ps: have added some more pics...have a look!

sweating at 40 degrees!

Hi guys!

This time I actually managed to find a netcafe in Worcester..! They have a "coloured" cafe and one for the whites (did anyone say apartheid was over? well, someone should tell the people here..!) which is (of course!) more expensive. So we decided to go to the coloured cafe, it doesn't have air con but it'll do.

My weekend in Cape Town was absolutely great, after Doreen and I had finished all the emails, blog posts, guestbook entries, etc we went for a walk around town and then to Waterfront, where we met Sharon and Collins, two friends of Doreen from Kenya who are studying in CT at the time. They have been living in a hostel for a year now and cool enough, we stayed the night at "their place". After a quick lunch we caught a minibus taxi (what a weird invention..and I'm sure it only works here in afrika! It's a van with a taxi driver but every foreigner will be advised not to use it. Because the drivers sometimes don't have a drivers license - and even if they do, they drive like satan's chasing them! They cram as many people as possible in there, no worries if they don't have a seat and they just won't go anywhere if the car isn't totally packed. Then you have to yell at the driver where you want tp be dropped off and hope that he heard you or is simply in a good mood to stop.) but al of a sudden the taxi stopped, the driver started yelling at us, raising hell and we all sisn't have a clue about what was going on. well, we just got out, payed him (of course! the minibus taxis are run by the mafia and you don't wanna mess with those guys!) and walked for about two hours to the beach. when we finally got there we had some nice fresh fruit and a laugh at all the tourists around. all white, by the way, Sharon was the only black person there. she said blacks don't normally go to the beach. dunno why. funny though, she stayed in the shade all the time, said she didn't want to go too dark...!
So after chilling at the beach, we managed to get a minibus taxi which took us (all the way!) back to Sharon's place, we went out for some cheap but very delicious thai food and got ready to go out.
That was so much fun. It felt great to do something "normal" again, after a week of seeing (and living) within destruction and poverty. And because we were with Sharon and Collins, we got into all the black bars which had great music and no tourists!
Because Doreen and I had been up since three in the morning we were ready to go home at only four o'clock so we headed back to the hostel, fell fast asleep and on Sunday we went for a nice breakfast at the mall where Sharon works, headed to some park to chill and took the train back to Worcester.

When we came back to the kibbutz, there was a really weird vibe going on, the girls (Kate/Sarah/Angie) looked very tired and the boys were quite aggressive. So we asked what had happened and appearantly some had gotten into fights, the girls had organised a BBQ, hoping the boys would help with the preparations....well, they didn't. they played socker, came when the food was ready, bitched that it hadn't been enough (they hasn't paid a dime for it- it was some of our food!) and fucked off. No thanks, no washing plates, no nothing.
well, that's the boys. they're totally in a"receiving mode", they get loads of free stuff and they just don't see why they should help with anything. I felt sorry for the girls cos they seemed to be really disappointed but on the other hand I don't see why they keep paying for the boys 24/7, they are buying them stuff constantly and I don't see why. Yes, they are poor and their kives have bben quite rough at times but they alos don't know the value of a lot of things. For them, acamera is a camera, aphone is a phone and they don't care if it breakes. there is so much stuff lying around in the kibbutz that I find it hard to do fundraising if the things they get is not taken care of.

So that was the weekend and it was great to get out of the kibbutz. One thing I have to get used to is that the boys are always around and they always want something, whether it's food, money or simply entertainment. And after a week at the kibbutz I was staring at the tall buildings, the clean streets (paved!!!) and shopping malls in the city! I had already adapted to the township style..! So yeah, I felt like I had recharged my batteries.

So on monday we met with Sheanette, the head coordinator of the kibbutz to finally discuss some of the projects. Doreen is doing dome painting at the school, two volunteers need to be at the creche every day (we're switching every hour to survive the kids' energy...), we cleaned out the reception area which was supposed to be painted this arvo but (no surprise- this is africa) we didn't get any paint yet so we'll just have to wait for that before we do anything. Then I have taken over the so-called library, a dirty little room with books and dirt everywhere. they were all mixed, afrikaans and english, no categories, the floor covered with books, the shelves broken.... and since the girls have started to read with the boys (some of them will go back to school in a week)I have decided that the library needs a system so people can actually use it. Lots of hard work, still a lot to do but I'll show you all some pictures once I'm finished....

Then I was working at the creche which is getting better and better, things are getting more organised. I was in the babies' room the other day, carrying quite a chubby thing around and when I eventually got tired of it, I wanted to sit him down so he could walk and play with the other kids. So I put him down, he was standing up and he's quite tall so I let go of his hands and said something like "go on, play with the others."
well, he didn't go anywhere. As soon as I let go of him, he fell in the sand, face first. He looked a bit funny like this and I first thought he might be disabled or something. So i picked him back up and saw everyone just laughing at me. that poor thing was quite chubby but still a baby so way too young to be able to walk...I just didn't have a clue, man! I had just thought he would have been older...stupid, not-walking baby..! :)

Oh, guys, I've gotta go, the girls are ready and we still have to go and get some groceries....and in a hickstown like this, shops close at 5 pm!!!

so healthwise, I am a bit sick, means I have actually managed to catch a cold at 40 degress heat! I think I got it at the hostel in CT though, cos some other guys there weren't feeling too well....anyways, no biggie, really. The heat is worse than anything, I'm trying to drink loads, taking salt tablets, calcium....still feel knocked out at noon when we're having hot winds... but then, I should stop whinging cos I'll stay here over the weekend, all the girls are either off to Stellenbosch or Cape Town so I have almost 48 hours by myself and I'm definitely spending some of that at a pool!