Janka´s journey

Leaving...!

2007-04-28T06:53:00.000+01:00

Yep, it time to go...
I'm gonna spare you all with the usual "oh my god, time just flew by and I can't believe it's been 3 months already..." But that's exactly what it feels like.

Even though I'm kinda excited about what's gonna happen in the UK I really don't wanna leave. I really enjoyed the time here, met awesome people, made great friends and actually felt very much at home here in Adelaide. But hey, I'm definitely coming back here so I should see them all very soon. In fact, Peter and Trudy are planning to move back to the UK in July and Jaan and Alice are gonna go travelling at the beginning of next year so we only have to organise where and when we catch up again...:)

Anyway, what's been happening....a hell of a lot again.

About two weeks ago Holly, a friend of Jaans who is a very successful musician as well as a wicked person, had a gig at her home town Warooka in the Yorke Peninsula as they had a concert to "lift the farmer spirits" again cos of the drought. Jaan, who accompanies Holly on the guitar and holly were playing on the footy oval, on the back of a semi-trailor...hehe, can't get much more rural, can it..?! Alice, Lisa, Ben (Holly's boyfriend who's a photographer)and I went along and stayed at Holly's parents' farm and it was great! So relaxed and chilled out and so in the middle of nowhere...it was great for a coupla days with a car and stuff but I dunno if I'd wanna be a teenager living there without a license...:)

Last tuesday I went to the Royad Adelaide Hospital to get a lung function before leaving and thanks to nurse Rosie ( I introduced myself to her went i first arrived) that was no problem at all and I didn't even have to pay anything. I had an FEV of 52% which is ok considering that I was at 46% when I left Germany in January, feeling quite shite after the sinus surgery and all. Also I have been working here and even though i do exercise I don't spend much time on my therapy exept for nebulising and a bit of AD. So physically I'm doing well and I'm hoping for it to stay that way in the Uk. But I'm optimistic since they're going into their summer and I heard the weather is pretty sunny in germany so in London it should be similar.

Wednesday was ANZAC day and since Peter's birthday is on may 3rd we planned to have a joined birthday party. I mean, we planned to have it sometime in may but because I'm leaving earlier (and I have to admit I was a bit disappointed to be in London all by myself on my 25th birthday...heheh)we decided to have a pre-birthday party at Corilole Winery which is Alice's mum's place.Now even for a PRE-birthday party you need a birthday cake and even though I'm absolutely useless in the kitchen I felt pretty confident about the challenge of making a cake. Then I made the mistake of calling Peter and asking what kinda cake he wanted....ok, any Aussie probably has at least heard of chocolate mud cake but for me the concept of eatinga cake that's completely raw on the inside is just...gutwrenching. heheh, nah, it was all good but I think I really did mess up that cake. Hell, everyone else thought it was ok...:)
It was an absolutely absolutely great day, we rented a family car which was huge and even had bottle holding thingies on the seats so Trudy and I killed a bottle of wine (the Villa Maria Estate from NZ...sooo god!!) on the way up there. As you all can see in the pics is an absolutely gorgeous place and even though it was supposed to rain that night we had an awesome day with good food, tasty wine and it was just more than I could ever expect for a birthday party. I even got some prezzies which came totally unexpected so by the time I got home I was in tears about having to leave all of these people.

oh man, Alic is picking me up for dinner and then we're meeting up with the rest of them at the Elephant walk for coffee and dessert...will write from the UK next time.
take care you all!

xxx

Untitled banter

2007-04-14T03:56:00.000+01:00

This rather big girl walking by
sipping on her diet coke
munching on her MD fries
I wonder if she's heard the joke
they told
when walking up behind
her
in that unflattering black shirt
that's way too tight
and so's the skirt

I wonder what is on her mind
walking down the strteet like that
and does he cry because she hates
the fact that tey all call her fat?
But what if she is sick and weight
is just one of her least concerns
she wonders how long she's got left on earth
oblivious to the heads she turns

Does she like books or playing pool?
And does she have a favourite song?
Were boy bands cute or so uncool?
What tune would make her sing along?

Does she play cards or chess or ball?
Does she spend sundays at the mall?
We don't know anything at all
about the ones we pass each day
but would it change the way we think
and would it change the things we say?

Ideally yes, we'd all be good
in this imagined perfect world
the truth is, I don't think we would
be all that different if we knew
if we just had the slightest clue
what made them laugh, what made them blue

Chances are, we would be worse
do and say what we knew hurt
But don't you worry, be relieved
this "perfect world" 's not meant to be
and everything exept this girl
is just a random fantasy.

UPDATE!!!

2007-04-10T02:06:00.000+01:00

Ok - this has been a bloody long time so I guess an update is needed...

NEWS NO.1: I got a job - or more precisely, I got two jobs. The idea was to only work part-time to pay for the rent and some food but I had the trials for both positions on the same day..and they both wanted me to work for them. Both waitressing jobs, one in a busy italian restaurant in North Adelaide (evenings) and one in a bar/bistro in the CBD (breakfast and lunch). Great financially, I thought. This way I don't even have to touch the money in my german bank account...it only took two weeks for me to realise that with more than 50hrs/week of working plus cycling back and forth (yeah..I bought a crappy bike for 40 bucks but splashed out on a helmet and lights!), I was left with no energy or any time to do exercise, see friends or look for any "proper" jobs.
So I quit the "italian job", much to the disappointment of Peter, who so wanted me to get the recipe for the "dolce vita-sauce" - SORRY, BRU..:)

So the place I work at now is called AIR and it's pretty relaxed work. The girls are cool, my boss is a bit of an arrogant prick who thinks the world revolves around him but it's easy work, I'll get between 20-30hrs/week which pays my rent and since I have adapted to the tighter budget I haven't taken too much money out of my bank account either. I exercise 3-4 times a week (swimming) and I don't feel like I'm wasting my time here, I get to hang out with friends, go to some music gigs, spend time at the library for free internet...

...but appaerantly not to write this blog of mine but - and that takes me to
NEWS NO.2 - to send off applications to Europe. Cos that's where I'm going next. soon.

I love Adelaide, I'd absolutely move here. Great place, great people - I feel fantastic here, my health is still pretty good so ther's not much more I could want. Just two little things are keeping me from staying here for good: Job and CF.

Waitressing to fund my travels is all good but I'm not only the oldest one among the girls but it's also boring as hell. I mean, it's not a challenging, interesting job and I really don't want to do this forever. So I feel like it's time to try something new, to move in a different direction. Also by staying here I'd jeopardise a lot of health insurance security, more so in Germany(or Europe)than here because here I have no coverage for any CF issues anyway. Maybe I could even get some meds through other CFers but if I get really sick and need an IV treatment (which I need once a year), I'm screwed cos it's totally unaffordable for me overseas. And I don't wanna push my luck like I did in South Africa with just the minimum or no supply of meds cos it took me all this time (almost one year) to get my health back up.
Geez, it really sounds like I've learned a losson there, huh...?! Hehe.

Anyway, so this is why I have applied for jobs with UK adventure companies, as Group Leader and Outdoor Activity Instructor.
Yeah, you all have a laugh. :)
And you probably think : "how the hell did she come up with that one...?!" Well, to tell you the truth, I had thought about doing this already in South Africa after i went canyoning but then I got so sick I had to cancel the training course. And I never really thought about it again until I sat here, wondering what career I could pursue.
I was thinking of Tour Leader before but I couldn't find any seasonal positions (cos I do wanna come back to Adelaide at the end of this year to escape the European winter again!) and they all required qualifications I don't have, like recent first aid course, NGB, etc.
But some of the Adventure Centers I applied for offer courses to get these qualifications while working there so the idea of becoming a tour leader isn't completely dumped...just post-poned.

Most of these jobs start in Feb-March but they really get busy towards the summer, so April onwards...so I hope I'm still on time for that. oh, did i mention it's kids and teenagers who are at the centers...?!
hehe...yaeh, it's heaps (I'm such an aussie..!!)easier to get the "foot in the door" at Youth Centers cos the requirements are higher when working with adults - which I think I'll eventually do when I have the qualifications needed.

So applying for these positions involved a wholelot of paperwork - 5 or 6 pages at least, about all the employment history and stuff - which is quite a lot in my case (not because i'm such a workaholic but because I've had lots of different short-term jobs).
AND, more importantly, they always asked about any physical illness or disability, probably because the job is quite physically demanding (yeah..I'm a bit worried that the CF is gonna restrain me from doing this job - that's why I'm exercising and eating healthy like an idiot...).
So I had to write about the Cystic Fibrosis and the daily meds, the first time ever I put that in an application. And to be honest, I was a bit apprehensive about doing it. I mean, CF is quite well-known in the UK but I imagine them all having a picture of a rather sick CFer in mind (due to fundraising and PR events), which would keep them from considering me for this position.
To my surprise, out of something like 10 applications I sent off I already got 4 positive responses, they are considering me for the job and need more papers, some references, a copy of my passport and a police check report since we're working with minors and they want to kow when I'll be in the UK, available for a personal interview and a selection day!
Not bad, I think I'm just gonna have to take a chance here, even if I don't pass the selection day (appearantly only 25-30% of the applicants pass). I just have a feeling I should try this. And if all else fails I can always get a hotel job in the UK to save up money for a ticket back to Australia..:)

So I'm flying out on the 29th of April - will get to London on the same day due to the travel through time zones which really sucks cos I so wanted to celebrate my 25th here in Adelaide. Or at least in New Zealand, where Arja and Jelmer are at the moment (the dutch friends I stayed with in Groningen in October 06)....but I guess one's gotta get his priorities right, eh..?!
Anything beyond that isn't sorted out yet - so we all can be surprised...:)

But lemme tell you what's been going on in Adelaide so far...

To my surprise and total excitement, two days after I had moved into my new house (that I share with an Aussie couple, Tim and Pippy), Biensche, a friend of mine from Germany (we met at the boarding school during our hotel business apprenticeship in 2001) and her sister Ulla who are doing their work & travel year in Australia now, came down on their way to Perth for a weekend. they had only been to Sydney, bought a van (so good to hear their van-breaking-down-is-fucking-frustrating-stories...now I know I'm not the only one!!!) and did fruit picking near Adelaide when I sent them an email about my arrival in SA.
Was great seing Biensche again and meeting her sister, they absolutely indulged in the artsy scene of Adelaide, we went and saw Jaan and Holly play a coupla times which was fantastic..I almost felt like a local, showing them around...hehe...cheers, girls!

Then there was WOMAD, a 3-day music festival which took place in the Botanic Park, only a 10 min walk from my house. I could only afford a one-night-pass but it was awesome, also got to spend some time with Alice and Jaan and their friends.
Soon after that the Fringe followed, a month of arts of any kind, every day, all around the city center of Adelaide. All sorts of events and performances, some free, some really cheap - I treated myself to some poetry and other lyrical sessions. some great, some I didn't quite get but all very interesting and I enjoyed it! Most poets are weirdos though...:)
Absolutely loved the Fringe and since it's now an annual event I definitely wanna be back next year for it!

Have spent my Tuesday afternoons at the Grace Emily (pub) where a group of Jaan's and Alice's friends catch up with a coupla pints - that has been great and it's what kept me sane during those weeks of working and sleeping only. Such a good bunch of people!

Last weekend alex, a friend of jaan's from the Uk came over to stay with him and Alice so we had a bbq with them and Peter and Trudy (I met them both along with Jaan in London) and on Easter we had a nice picnic at the Botanic Garden...so relaxed! I also visited Alice at her workshop (she makes really cool jewellery), I took some pics as promised ages ago.
Have been to dinner @ Becky's for coupla times, she is also a friend of Jaan's I met in London in dec. 2005 and then I stayed at her place before flying off to South Africa in jan 2006 (geez, all this sees ages ago...argh!!). She makes lovely thai food...or veggie burgers, for that matter...!

So, it's all pretty relaxed and I feel like I've settled in...now it's almost time to head off again...so annoying! But hey, I shouldn't really complain, cos it's all up to me, eh...?!

oh, I forgot to tell you - I had to go to the hospital about two weeks ago due to some killing pain in my left hip and thigh. I'd had a bit of a discomfort (I like that word..hahaha) for days before but i just blamed it on a sore muscle from exercising.
Turns out, part of my hip bone had broken off ( I honestly have NO idea how that happened!!) and because of the exercise and walking at AIR the muscle rubbed up against the fractured piece which caused an infection which then made my gland swell up and because of that I couldn't move my leg at all.
seriously, I took the bus to the hospital (too stingy to afford a cab...hehe) and on the way almost threw up because I was in such pain...this kinda shit always happens to me when I'm overseas!!
Anyway, after x-rays, ultra sound, blood tests and doctor's examination I was given some strong inflammatory pain killers and told to take it easy until the infection had gone away.
Great, a waitress that can't walk.

My boss wasn't happy at all when I called him from the hospital, fortunately I had the next day off anyway but the day after that i was back at the restaurant, pumped up with pain killers which was a bit tricky cos the side effects were nausea and dizzyness and I almost spilled the drinks over our customer a coupla times...

Anyway, exercise was down to twice a week but i feel better now so I'll do more from now on. went swimming today and my hip felt fine.

So, enough rambling...pics are up...!

xxx

Adelaide Cf hospital, Adelaineans and more of them

2007-02-09T02:02:00.000Z

Tah-daa.... loads of good news here...!!

Ok, where to start...last week we went to some of Alice's jewellery exhibitions which were great fun since usually I'm not so much around arty-creative people( or at least they don't pursue that plan if they have it) and I'm yelling ya...there sure as hell were a nutter or two but all of them really nice..:) There was even a guy from The Messenger, a local paper I reckon, and a day or two later a picture of Jaan and me's in there...hehe, not even 48 hours after first touching ground in lovely Adelaide...
Seriously though, Alices stuff is really cool, she just makes stuff out of really normal things like puzzle pieces or dictionary explanations..I dunno, you have to see it. Gotta ask her and Jaan for some photos that i can post.

So i started looking for house shares and it was a bit frustrating cos there are a lot of nice and affordable places but most of them had a minimum stay of months or longer which I can't commit to 100% because if I don't get another visa I'll have to move out before then. then I almost had a place, right at the beach but then the girl rang and said she's gonna go with the kiwi guy who also had a look at the room cos he can stay longer...argh!!
But then I gave it another go at suburb called St. Peters, a REALLY nice area (one I could never afford if it wasn't a house share in Adelaide), and...I got the room! So cool, I'm living with a couple, Pippy and Tim. They're my age and they are hilarious! Blond, beachy-looking...typical australian for us europeans :) He's a carpet layer, just started his own business 5 days ago and she's studied photography (1 year in Spain so there are some stories to share - mostly of dirty flat mates, shit jobs and cockroaches), wants to be an actress (is currently in a TV commercial) and works part time at The Yoghurt Shop.

Last night we went to her parents' place (who are currently in Melbourne) to visit her sister and man...talking about some wealthy people!!! Huge house, garden...Her dad's South Australia's first glas blower. he makes glas art and sells it for thousands of dollars in the United states! So you see, you can't escape the creativeness here in Adelaide.
Anyway, we're haveing pizza and watching some show on the telly (the australian word for TV- haha) and Pippy and Tim are saying that their ears are still sore...so of course, nosy me wants to know the whole story...and guess what?! They actually got their ears pinned back just 3 weeks ago! And Pippy even got the job done for free since her daddy's friends with the surgeon!!! That's some shit for my blog I tought..heheh. Of course after that revelation I had to take the piss out of them...! But they're cool and funny even though a bit high maintanance sometimes.

So that's that and before I moved out of Jaan's yesterday afternoon he took me along to the Royal Adelaide Hospital (chest clinic) so I could introduce myself to Rosie, the (lovely!) nurse who deals with all the CF stuff. Great, so if anything goes wrong or I need information about getting meds on a new visa I know who to talk to and Rosie was also like "yeah, no worries..we'll look after you". I shouldn't be surprised really, since it was like that in Sydney when I was there last time but I still think it's great that there are these kind of people who always try to find a way to do things even if that causes some inconvinience.

So now since I've got a place to stay the job search is on. will have to see what's available but I think now since the dreads are gone (yes, hair is SHORT!) it shouldn't be too difficult.. Will have to decide whether I just look for some casual part time job to pay my bills or if I already start looking for a place that might sponsor me on an extended visa. I've heard that adventure tours here are doing training ships for tour guides and also sponsorships so I'll definitely check them out.

Anyway, that's it for now...my health is still good and this weekend I'll start exercising, since the botanic garden and the river are just a 5 min walk from new place there is no excuse, eh..?!

All is good, just waiting for something to trip over because when it all goes so well it's scary..:) Still, my mood is excellent, there is the euphoric state I was missing...

xxx Janka

Baked beans and fish & chips

2007-02-01T05:58:00.000Z

another post already...can you believe that...?!

anyway, London was great even though it took me 5 (FIVE!!) hours to get from London Luton to Southfields where Mark lives. Because the flight was a bit delayed and we had to circle over Luton aiport for about half an hour because appearantly there was another airplane in the way(...) by the time I got to King"s cross the tubes had stopped running which meant taking the night buses. No biggy, really but hanging around King's cross at 1am isn't the most fun thing to do (especially with heavy luggage) and after various offers of weed, crack or money for sex i decided to talk to one of the guides about how I could best continue the journey. Nice guy but unfortunately he didn't have a clue so he sent me on the wrong bus...great. after 45 minutes i was back at the Cross and I was honestly considering spending the night right there with the drunks.
I finally caught the right bus on which I met this rogue eddy who told me I could have taken the train from Luton station straight to Wimbledon and then taken a taxi from there, would have saved me about 3 hours.....argh!

Was great to see Mark again, met his lovely girl friend Sharyn (probably spelled totally wrong!) and had a very relaxed weekend with them and a Gwyn, one of mark's friends, which was good to have before the trip to Australia.

Monday morning I left to Heathrow where they have absolutely strict security checks now but since I'm german (= well organized, absolutely on time, etc.) I had my liquid medicine packed up neatly in a transparent re-sealable bag, doctor's letter and all which meant no hassle even with dreads. :)

watched movies all through the flight, had to stop and reflues in Hong Kong and then continued on to Melbourne where I spent the night at the airport (couldn't sleep of course) and at 7.00am took the (very small and rocking!) plane to adelaide. there i got picked up by jaan (on time!) -you're a star- , had a shower and we headed to town.
So now I'm staying with him, his girl friend Alice and her sister Lucy for the first few days until I've found a flat share of my own. Hope that doesn't take too long even though it's great here with them. just don't wanna be a pain in the arse.

In town we met Holly, a friend of jaan and alice who's a singer and has the dirtiest mouth ever...talking about some swearing! I'm NOTHING compared to that. Love it!
Later we went for a coupla drinks with peter and Trudy whom (or is it who?!) I had met in London about a year ago and ben, who is only here until monday because he's studying in canada. Don't worry...loads of names but I'll post pictures soon. Just trying to introduce them to zou since you'll be hearing these names more during the next coupla months.

Today we went to the beach (and NO, I haven't turned lobster red yet due to my 30+ sun blocker!), swam in the sea and just chilled. Lunch at Glenelg (different beach, quite touritsy) and back to get ready for tonight. Alice makes jewelry (spelling?) and tonight she's got an exhibition and of course we all go.

This is really different from the last time I was i Australia. then I was always in hostels, around backpakers or other internationals when this time I know only locals. In Sydney or on the east coast it's so easy to meet other travellers, there are internet places on every corner as well as hostel, bars, clubs, etc. I enjoyed it but after a while I just got tired of it. this is totally different. If you don't know anyone here it's a lot harder to start your own network of people. but when you do you meet their friends in no time and everyone is just so helpful.
And they all look normal, they don't all carry surf boards under their arms or shoot kangaroos or say "crickey" all the time (for the ones who are picturing the aussie stereotype...)

So yeah, it's all good and my health is improving already. i was pleasantly suprised how well i felt on the plane, no tightness of chest at all. And since the weather here is great (mid 30s I reckon) i feel even better.

Feel sorry for you in the nothern hemisphere freezing your arses off...hehehe

anyway, take care you all.
xJ.

leaving in less than an hour!

2007-01-26T17:10:00.000Z

OK.....I'm shite with writing this. but this time it wasn't slackness but worse....even though I vowed to myself to keep writing even when things healthwise aren't great I screwed up an stopped anyways. I suck.
ah...can you all hear the violins....?! hehe, enough of this.
For the few of you who have kept reading this - here's another post.

So I should start where I finshed off - the surgery. I know it was neccesary, the doctors said that due to the amount of polyps in my sinuses I should have constantly been suffereing from headaches...which I guess means :"don' wait another 16 years, stupid!" But the time after the surgery was a bitch, really. I mean, I was doing quite well, you all might remember me bragging about going for a daily run in holland....and I woke up in the hospital and couldn't even cough anymore. Nor walk. No strenght at all, just gone. Now that really sucked, I can tell ya. I mean, there I am, exercising like an idiot for 3 months, eating healthy and all and I go into the surgery, fall asleep from the anesthaetics (spelling?!), wake up and everything is just gone. Out the window.Talking about some frustration...

I have to admit, everyone actuallly told me that something like this would happen but...yeah, I reckon I just thought it would be different with me. Dunno why. Hey, they say ignorance is bliss, eh?!

Anyway, I had to stay in the hospital for a week and during that time I tried to get up and walk around as much as possible so my lunds wouldn't get worse. Also nebulising with the hypertonic saltine solution helped getting all this shit out of my lungs. But nebulising was so exhausting all of a sudden, and the coughing really didn't feel too great whith these cotton thingies up my nose....I think I might put up a picture or two so you'll see that I'm not exaggerating here...;)

OK, I got home quite thrilled that I hadn't picked up a nasty bugg in the hospital, what happens next - i get sick. Just normal winter thing, but with me being everything but tops after the surgery....not good.

Me being a frustrated, grumpy, in self-pity drowning biatch I thought it'd be best for everyone if i went to live with Arja and Jelmer in Holland again since mentally, emotionally and physically I felt great there but because I had ENT appointments every other day I had to cancel that. Now talk about some frustration...;)

Surprisingly my lung function a month after the op hadn't gone down, I still felt shite and somehow survived x mas and slept through new year's eve.
I changed antibiotics which didn't do anything but my lung function got worse to 45%. Great.
3 weeks ago I started another antibiotic IV which made me feel better, but the lung function is still the same.
So there ya go, I've had better news.Hope it'll get better.

Anyway, in about half an hour I'm going to the airport, flying out to London to stay there for a coupla days and see Mark (Tick bite fever mark I met in South Afrika) and on Monday I'm off to Adelaide, Australia where Jaan's gonna pick me up, more or less on time....hehe! (thanks to you both for letting me stay at your places!!!)

so I speak to you all when I'm in oz....via email or hopefully I'll post more regularly!

xxx J.

4 semanas en Hollanda

2006-11-02T21:59:00.001Z

So here I am back in germany.
I think I told you in my last post that i was going to Groningen in the Netherlands to live with Arja and Jelmer, to lovely friends of mine, to get my health back in shape.
Did that - and it was awesome!Hehe, I think we make good flatmates, guys...maybe next time in NZ...?!
I actually brought up the discipline to go running every day for an hour. well, interval running. but it's a start. And it actually felt great being able to do these things again without getting out of breath after 5 mins. especially after getting so fucking sick in South Africa where any sort of sports was totally out of question.
Of course, I kept my healthy diet which was no problem thanks to Jelmer who's not only a very reliable weatherfrog but also a chef deluxe! And when I did fall for any unhealthy stuff at least I wasn't on my own but had Arja and Tjitske right by my side when it came to chocolate, chips and candy...cheers guys, had a great few weeks with you all!

But because I didn't wanna spend all day thinking about my next lung function results I updated my CV and went to all the temping agencies I could find...with, to be honest, no success.
Reason no.1: I didn't speak dutch. Reason no.2: I only stayed for a short time. Reason no.3: In the language department I'm no competition for all these multilingual dutch students who allw ant barwork. I didn't wait for reason no.4 and went home.
OK, I have to admit, I had imagined the jobsearch to be a wee bit easier and I was a tiny, tiny bit pissed of that day. So I binned my CV and went to the voluntary work office. I thought, I did 3 months of voluntary work in SA before, I can do another month here in holland. Fortunately I didn't have to pay any rent so I could just affort it.

So, the voluntary work office. Nice lady, I told her what I wanted to do and my dutch was pretty much non-existing. No worries, she said, thee'll all speak english and german.
next day I went to the senio's home I was assigned to ( after working with kids and teenegers in SA I wanted to try out a different age group) and of course - nobody spoke english or german exept one german therapist who's lived in Holland for nearly 10 years and has almost lost all of her mother tongue.
Anyway, because of the language barrier I was assigned to a lady who could hardly speak anymore - sad, but managable for me. So I talked to her in an english-dutch-german mix, fed her some coffee from the bottle, played bingo with the group and basically made a total fool of myself....so lots of toothless laughters right there.
Yeah, these oldies actually liked me so I went back every day for 3 or 4 hours.

Pretty cool, I was usually with the demented elderly which was great cos I could basically tell them the same story about who I am and what I do every day for the first few days. My dutch improved rapidly, also because I had to speak quite loudly since most of the seniors are half-deaf and everyone could hear my mistakes and correct me.
so what did I actually do there? Well, the usual things nurses don't have time for, really. Make and serve coffee or tea (make sure the diabetics don't steal the sugar cubes - seriously! they look like a hamster with both cheeks full of sugar and still try to deny it...!), have a chat (with a bit of dutch and a lot of hands-and-feet), read stories, look for their glasses or their fake teeth (they keep losing stuff all the time!), play games, go for walk or push them around in the wheelschair, listen to them chatting away, sometimes give out tissues and huggs when they get depperssed or frustrated with their situation or feel lonely, help with the daily activities such as gymnastics, creative afternoons, singing, ganes, etc..
Seriously, that was great fun but the old ladies cheat like hell...! :)

Before going straight back to Bremen I stopped over in Hannover for a weekend to attend a seminar about Cf and lung transplantations.
I was a bit worried to only see very sick CFers with oxygen and stuff but to my surprise there were quite a lot of younger ones in their early twenties who just wanted to gather some infos and get in touch with the topic. And, what also surprised me, almost all of them came with their partners. I keep reading Jaan's and Alice's blogs and I seriously admire them for how they accept his CF in their relationship but it seems like a lot of other people are able to do that too.Hmm...I guess I still have a long way to go to get to that point....
Anyway, back to the seminar. First we talked about exercising and physio before and after the Ltx (lung transplantation), the healthy diet and just keeping the whole body in relatively good shape.We learned about the criteria of getting "listed" and that ther is a thing aclled "life donations" which is practised in japan a lot since they rarely agree to organ donations after the death of a person. so a lot of ethic chat about that and the definitionof "dead" which varies even in european countries. There were doctors and surgeons to explain what exactly happens during a transplantation and we got to watch one on film...how cool!
We talked about clinics in germany, statistics, risks and survival rates.
What a life could be like after the operation, what the psychological aspekts are, the individual pro and con of a transplantation and we met 3 Cfers who are transplanted - even a 40-year old who had an Ltx 13 years ago!

It was my first CF seminar and so interesting, good to meet other CFers who aren't that sick but still thinking about the option of transplantation. but even though everyone was having a good time, I think after 3 days of CF talk we were all glad to go back to our "normal" lives.

So now I'm back, had a clinic appointment a coupla days ago and after almost 3 months of daily exercise I've gotta admit I expected an FEV1 at least in the mid 50s.....no such luck, a merely 1% improvement which is ridiculous. I meanb, I could feel my lungs getting so much better in holland but then beeing back here, getting a flu shot, i felt my energy boost started to fade....grrr....!
Yep, I can say I was absolutely devastated and the nose surgery is getting closer and I'm kinda nervous. Terrified, more like it. So my poor doc, who was working on crutches cos he had a bicycle accident, had to put up with frustrated and crying me...not the most pleasant sight, I can imagine....

Anyway, after 7 hours of registration and pre-check ups for the surgery yesterday they sent me home cos they couldn't fit me into the schedule anymore. Now I gotta go in tomorrow (or today, it's almost midnight while I'm writing this...) morning at 7.30h, will hopefully be on the op table between 10 and 12 and if everything goes well I'll be done with it all at around tea time.

so that's it for now...I should go to bed and at least TRY to sleep, have to get up in less than 5 hours....

since I'll have to stay in the hospital 5 to 7 days and I seriously doubt we'll have the luxury of internet there I'll send some emails (and hopefully write another post!!) when I get home.

xxxJ.

Long time no see....

2006-09-24T15:59:00.000+01:00

well, looks like I'll have to stop being so slack with this blog and start writing lots of smaller posts like Becky does....sorry!
Anyway, as you all know I had this IV before I took off to see my friends here in Europe and at the start of it my lung function results weren't great, a mere 43% FEV1. They improved a bit during the antibiotic treatment to 48%. Not bad but I hope that's only the start.
I had of course a rather intense talk to my doctor who read my blog during my travels and was (like many others!) probably a bit worried at times...;)
After a coupla tests he told me that the reason for me not feeling too well isn't really the pseudomonas germ but more likely to be staphylococcus aureus which is very treatable. so I've changed medication, I'll try the new stuff called cotrimoxazol out for 3 months and in November I'll go in for another lung function and see how things are.

But my doc wouldn't be my doc if he didn't give me a kick in the arse again.
a) for not getting medical help while being sick in South Africa and
b) for not exercising enough.
well, I guess this good man has a point there...;)
So know I've been cycling and swimming almost every day and I really do feel a lot better. Let's hope it'll show in the next lung function results.

Another thing we talked about is diabetes. I think about 10% of CFers get it, they've been testing my blood sugar since I was 18 on a yearly basis and the results have always been a bit too high. But appearantly now they are super-high or at least high enough to check them again in November and then decide what to do.
To be honest, I hate any sort of needles (that's ONE reason I absolutely hate IV's !!) and I really, really don't wanna be diabetic. Also cos you have to watch what you're eating which will be a pain in the arse. But I guess any of that won't really be considered when it comes to my health.grrr....
So I'll just have to wait and see - and cut out as much sugar as possible, so no more soft drinks!
But hey, that's actually not too bad since I've gained 3 kilos since I got back from SA which really bothers me! I know, most CFers would be glad for every gram they put on but with my 1,65m 58kg would be perfect and at 59kg I'm still happy but at the moment it's more like 61 or 62 and that's not cool! Another rason for daily exercise!
OK - now I'm done with girly bitchin' about weight problems, hahaha

So - my trip: well, actually I took 2 trips to see my friends here. On the first one I went to South germany and Switzerland to see Steffi, Jule and Michel from "hotel times" when we were trainees.
Then I came back to Bremen for a coupla weeks and at the end of August I went to Holland to meet some friends I made during my time in Malaga, Spain. Visited my cousin Anton in Amsterdam and met his lovely girlfriend. Then travelled to Berlin to see Biensche, another friend in the tourism business and Doreen whom I met at the Kibbutz in South Africa.
It was great to see these guys, some of them I hadn't seen in the past 3 years so it was fun and very exciting!
The reason I finally went across the country to visit everyone was that when I was very sick in SA and didn't know whether I'd make it back, I was thinking of some close friends and I vowed to myself that if I'd get out of there, I'd go see them. it wasn't dramatic or anything but I've been travelling for 3 years now meeting loads of cool people and making frineds everywhere which is great but the ones who really know me and mean a lot to me I only see once a year if even that.
I'm glad I went, even though we all change and I guess time romantesizes things so maybe it's normal that getting together with someone isn't as exciting, fun, satisfying, emotional or touching as I might have remembered it to be a year ago. As much as I enjoy traveling like this, in a way I always dread coming back cos I wonder what it's like to see my friends again. Some friendships last and some don't.

The week with the Malaga-guys was awesome though. Some even came from Italy and Sweden! I realised how easy and relaxed things were for me, now that everyone knew about my CF, the medication and nebulising every day. Most of them had seen me do my treatment before but even the ones who asked were really cool about it.
One evening we were talking about our future plans and I told them about wanting to go to the UK but had only little time left until the weather over there would get worse. With staying longer in South Africa than planned, I had missed the surf season in Newquay which made finding a job there a lot more difficult.I was thinking of going somewhere bigger, maybe Bournemouth or Bristol but that would also increase my expenses on food and rent and we travellers are usually on a rather tight budget (means we're always broke!). And would I have the discipline while looking for a job and a place to stay to still do my daily exercise?
I guess it was obvious to see that I was very unsure of what to do, i also hadn't made up my mind about where to go this winter. Maybe back to Australia or South Africa..?
Perhaps we do have just too many choices sometimes.

Anyway, all of a sudden two of my dutch friends, Arja and Jelmer asked me if I wanted to stay with them for a while. In January they had bought a flat in Groningen which is a student city about two hours away from Amsterdam.They said, this way I could chill a bit, do my sports, maybe get a part-time job, think about future plans without any hassles and enjoy their company!
A great idea and I have to admit I was really touched by the way they considered all the CF stuff! The only time I had seen something like that before was between Jaanie and his friends when I met them in London and I remember wondering what it would be like to be more open about the CF with my friends.
With most of them, CF is never talked about, it doesn't really exist cos they got to know me as if it didn't.

OK, I'm rambling but I hope you get the point. :)
End of the story, I postponed my plans to go to the UK and will move in with Arja and Jelmer tomorrow!
I'm really looking forward to this, even though it won't be for more than a month.
At the end of October there's a seminar in Hannover about lung transplantations and I find especially the psycological aspects interesting. Just wanna get some information and approach the topic.

And finally, after more than 15 years of postponing and forgetting about it, I have managed to make an appointment for the nose polyp -OP! And to be fair, hadn't Jaanie been hassling me since London, I'd probably be living with these buggers another decade or so. Definitely a big cheers to you in Adelaide, darlin'!
But he even got his taken out again and I think it al went well so I should stop being such a wimp about it. I'm just horrified cos I'll get general anestetics and I'm worried about not waking up again! But maybe I've just been watching too much ER shows...

So on Nov. 1st is the admission into the hospital with all kind of tests (will get a lung function result prior to the OP to see if there are improvements.)and talks with doctors and on the next day should be the surgery...argh!!! Afterwards there'll be at least 3 to 4 weeks of discouvery in which I might squeeze another IV if necessary, hoping in december I'll be ready to head off again! Australia it will be for 5 or 6 months with possibly a visit to New Zealand.
Will probably fly into Sydney and if I can afford it financially, stay on the east coast for a bit and then head to Adelaide, see Jaanie and friends and if I can find a job there stay for a while.

but hey, that's still a long time from now so not really making any plans (since I change my mind anyways..haha)
Hope you all are doing great!

xxxJ.

ps.: Have uploaded more pics for you all.

Back in germany - and about to head off again!

2006-07-30T23:12:00.000+01:00

So what's happened...?
Ah, yeah, I actually made it home after a rather shitty trip of 30 hours. Fucking pisstake, really. Everything worked out fine with the luggage, I checked it in at Cape Town and it went all the way through to London Heathrow without me having to get it on my stop-over in Jo'burg.
The flights weren't great ( I actually watched Brokeback Mountain instead of Ice Age 2 and I am soooo disapointed! What a boring movie!!!) and since my health wasn't exactly tops either I couldn't sleep at all. After I got checked about 4 (!!) times for drugs ( and that had nothing to do with the medication...must be the dreads...!)I got to Heathrow around 7.00am and because my flight from Luton to germany didn't leave until the evening and I was just tired and didn't feel like sightseeing I just went straight to the bus station to chill and wait for the coach to take me to the airport. There I had some nice brekki consisting of milk shake and muffin (which I paid a bloody fortune for - I'm still used to South African prices !) and then decided to get comfortable outside the station to catch some sun and maybe a bit of sleep. But no, I'm about to doze off again (it's around noon by now),there comes a garbage guy, screaming at me to fuck off and why I had been hanging around for hours. whether I had no home to go to or something. Ok, dreads and scruffy clothes, probably not smelling my best since it's bloody hot and I had been traveling for about 24 hours....but I didn't look homeless! I mean, I'm sitting in front of the Central Bus Station with a trolley and three bags....what the hell did he think I was doing...?! well, that's exactly what I told him. Hey, my normally calm and patient nature got a wee bit effected after all the travelling plus I just caught a London sunburn...;)
So when I finally got ot Luton ( nice - a coupla hours on the crowded coach without air con...you're not sure whether the sweat running down your arms is your neighbour's or yours...) it had started to rain and the airport flooded - which delayed our departure for another 3 hours. Then, I actually got home and Italy had kicked out Germany out of the world cup....argh!!!
Ok, I'll stop whinging now..;)

The first few days I spent seeing family and friends, getting used to European life and standards again ( I really had to adapt to this kinda luxury...a fridge full of tasty food, hot water 24/7...etc. And so many white people everywhere.), then I had a clinic appointment with the start of my IV treatment. My doc (and everyone else) was a bit surprised to see me in not that bad of a shape, considering how sick I was just 6 weeks before. And I have to say, I have never recovered from a health low that quickly but when I had the lung function the FEV1 result of 43% showed that it all did take its toll on my lungs.

Tomorrow is the last day of my IV, for the past two weeks I haven't done much execpt for trying to get better, get all kinds of test and x-rays done, sleep a whole lot (on the balcony - it's way too warm inside!) cos the antibiotic always knocks me out.
So in the arvo I'll have another clinic appointment (the IV tube has actually lasted for all of the two weeks which is a record since it normally gets infected or clogged up so I need at least 3 or 4 tubes. So here's a special thanks to my doc!!) where we'll look at another lung function, x-rays of the lung, results of the diabetis test, etc....

After all that I'm gonna catch the train to Freiburg, South Germany and afterwards Zurich, Switzerland to see some of my best friends. Really looking forward to seeing these guys since they mean a hell of a lot to me and it's been a year since we last met.
One thing I definitely realised while travelling is how important some of my friends are to me. I mean, you always meet loads of people on the trips, some of them you even keep in touch with...put there are only a few best friends, the ones who really know you and you totally trust...so yeah, I'm really happy to see some of them very soon!

In about a week's time I'll be back here in Bremen, to wash some of my clothes and properly pack for my next trip - which will be to the UK.
Yeah, "boooring...!" I hear you all scream...I see I've spoiled you all with nerve-racking stories from South Africa...
I'm planning to say in Cornwall (maybe Newqauy, a small surfer's town) until Nov/Dec, get a job and spend lots of time outside (surfing?!) exercising to improve my lungs. So one reason for going to the Uk is my health, another one is a group of friends who are from the Netherlands, Sweden and Italy...we met when we all lived in Malaga, Spain and after a year of not seeing each other we will meet at the end of August in Holland and if I already leave Europe now I won't be there.

But at the end of this year, if all goes well, I wanna head back to Australia for about three months - seeing some friends (Jaanie &Co...? that would be great!), working and escaping the European winter. I also wanna go back to South Africa and I definitely wanna see some of South America so I'll have to sort all that out later. I'm also gonna do some voluntary work again for sure!
For now I guess I'll have to take it one step at a time and at the moment I have to put my health first (Ah..I know...I sound so grown up...! haha)

So yeah, that's it for now...plan on posting after I come back from Switzerland before heading off to the UK.

xxx

In the morning

2006-07-03T05:08:00.000+01:00

It's 6.00am, I've been up for two hours (after I went to bed at like 2.00am last night..ehm, this morning cos we just had to go out on our last evening...) running around for some reason nervous as hell. I mean, I really should still be catching a good night's sleep since I have a 24-hour journey ahead of me but it's not happening. I don't even know why, well, the last coupla days have been kinda weird, everyone coming around to say bye but I didn't really feel sad cos even though I knew I was leaving, I didn't actually feel it.
I'm nervous even though I shouldn't be, I mean, for christ's sake - this isn't the first time I'm travelling and for the first time in my life I dont have to worry about my luggage being overweight. I've got my visa sorted and the ticket change should be no problem at the check-in desk later and even though I'll be running on a very tight schedule when I get to Jo'burg to switch planes I'm sure it'll be fine and they won't leave without me.

Ah...Mark's up. Looks like he's getting his last bits and pieces together. That's what I'm gonna do now I think.

And check out the pics, I've uploaded some more.

Only 5 days in SA left!

2006-06-28T19:22:00.000+01:00

Damn, it's been a month again since my last post but there's simply not much going on here at the moment.
We've got only very few guests at the hostel, I think it's the quietest time Chill&Surf has ever had. There are three volunteers staying here at the time; Mark (new ladd, don't get him confused with my irish surf buddy Mark), Becky and Sarah (all brits...surprise, surprise..haha).
These guys couldn't be more different from each other - but they're great fun...most of the time anyway :)
Sarah cried lots when she first arrived - homesick, that poor girl - so I took her to church cos she told me she normally goes at least once a week and she really misses it. On unday we went looking for a catholic church (Sarah refused to go to any other church) and I actuakky went INSIDE with her, attending the service and all for a whole hour (one of the longest 60 mins of my life, to be honest!) and everyone who knows me knows how much I had to drag my self inside that "house of god"...and stay there. But it was worth it, Sarah really enjoyed it and looked at lot happier afterwards.

I haven't been doing much at all exept for trying to get better which I have, a little bit.
So I'm definitely up for the trip to Germany on Monday.
It'll be a bitch of a trip though. First I gotta catch a flight from Cape Twon to Jo'burg, get my luggage there, change from Domestic Airport to International, check my bag in again and catch my flight to Heathrow (and I only have less than two hours in Jo'burg!), I'll arrive in London at 7.00am, hang around for 12hrs and then catch a flight from Luton to Bremen, where I'll arrive at about 9.00pm and probably won't look my best since I'll be tired and without a nebuliser from the time I leave Cape Town.

The reason why I'm going straight back to good ol' Germany is my health. I originally planned on staying in the Uk and get a job but since my nebuliser broke down - and still needs fixing - and even though I'm not as sick as I was before, my health still needs to improve if I wanna go abroad and work proper shifts.
So, back to my parents (cheers for letting me stay again by the way!) and do an IV (argh...!).

I remember in april, when I was meant to leave South Africa, I wasn't ready at all but now I feel like I kinda wanna get out of here.
It's been great but I've been living and working at Chill&Surf for like 4 months nowand for the last 4 weeks I haven't even surfed....so I'm getting itchy feet.
It's a bit weird though cos people here don't expect to see me go, they kinda figured I'd stay forever.
I'm at the point where I can go out to the pubs and I know I'll meet someone I know, mostly locals which is nice and kinda makes me feel at home but on the other hand I think I have to move on. I dunno why. Maybe it's the tiny bit of arrogance that makes me think "this can't be it, there has to be more out there" and the things I've seen, done and learned and the people I've met are simply not enough. There's more to do and I wanna "see it all"....whatever that is. Then I turn around and think: Fuck, the people in my life that really matter to me I hardly see -what sense does that make..?! And I wonder if all this travelling is becoming a kind of habit, interested in everything but not being able to commit myself to anything (friendships, jobs, places to live, etc...).
Anyways, i won't bore you with my pre-menstrual emotional shit anymore...:)
Pierre's offered me a job at the hostel for the summer season, starting in December. I guess I'll give it a thought but I'm not entirely sure if that's what I want. at the end of the day, this job is not the most challenging, even though then it'd be different cos Dec-March is peak season and Pierre is making lots of changes at and around Chill&Surf so it should be way busier than now.

Well, looks like I've got some things to think about while I'm back in Bremen....will also try to catch up with some of my dear friends in germany...haven't seen most of you in ages!!!!

x J.

It's been a while....

2006-05-27T14:29:00.000+01:00

...sorry guys for not updating this blog but 3 weeks out of the four I was just too lazy. And the last week I've been sick.

But let's start at the beginning: In the last week of april we had the SA surf champs going on at Long Beach, a great surf spot just down the road from us, so the whole Southern Kwa-Zulu Natal Surf Team stayed at our hostel.
Full house, 16 surfers, a bunch of volunteers and other guests who all had different priorities (which could lead into huge rows, for example when one of the Lighties puts his board up on the kitchen table - while everyone around him is preparing breakfast - and starts waxing it for the comp...)
Due to various sponsorships you could see nothing but Rusty, Billabong, Lizzard, Quicksilver, Roxy, etc. on these guys. It was mad!
To be fair, it was a week of hard work cos I'm at the backpackers almost 24/7 and I realised I still have this "hotel mentality" where I'm willing to move mountains for the guests when Pierre is absolutely in "hostel mode" and is just like : "ah..they'll sort themselves out somehow..."
So yeah, lots of work but so much more fun! We went and saw the competition almost every day and really got into the whole thing which is fairly easy when you're around these surfers all the time. You have breakfast with them in the morning, checking the swell on the net, all amped waxing their boards and packing up, you sit with the SKN crowd at the beach, hooting and cheering for the one in the water and you're so stoked for them if they made it through their heat - or bummed if they didn't.

April 30th was Finals-day and the surfers left on may 1st so we had a great party into my 24th! Got lots of presents from them like hoddies, shirts and even a traffic cone which those crazy fuckers stole from a road block just around the corner...! :)
When these poor people had to take off at 4.00h in the morning, half of them were still pissed...!
In the evening Pierre (who owns this hostel) surprised us with a great roast dinner and shrimp salad for starters and Cat, Cat, Jo and Mark got me a scarf and a pair of gloves (which is great cos it's almost winter, 15 degrees C and I'm freezing my arse off!!!) as well as a birthday cake which made a great dessert for all of us. That was just so cool, it was absolutely unexpected and it was just great to chill and have dinner with a handful of people who just happened to live together during those couple of days.

So then Cat left (her volunteering project had finished) as well as Mark (see photo: marks last day) which I was really guttered about cos after living and working and surfing together I just got so used to him being around.
Plus, he was the one with the cooking skills which left the rest of us on a pasta&tuna diet....

At this point, I have to say, I had already been waiting for the medication my parents sent to SA. Remember when before I took off, I was talking about I was taking a 3 months supply (because this is how long I planned on staying in SA and that amount wouldn't give me any troubles at the customs) and if I needed more, my parents would send me some...?
Well, that's how I've been doing things since I started travelling and it has always worked out fine...until now.
Appearantly the med package was sent with Express, means it's not supposed to take longer than 6 days, counting from the last week of april...and here I was, in mid may, with only some Kreon and Tobramycin left....and no bloody sign of a med pac arriving!
I still hadn't fully recovered from the Cape Town bug I picked up like 2 months ago and honestly, had I been in Europe with medical attention, I'd probably considered an antibiotic IV at this point. Just to sort myself out and to not let things get out of hand.
But I'm far from home, South Africa was great, I was still surfing so I wasn't too worried and kinda expected the medication to arrive any day.

And you know what it's like when you think you barely have things under control, you're stumbeling but haven't fallen yet, you know it's not gonna take much to knock you off your feet but you're still on top of things, you've got all your juggling balls up in the air and you almost dropped one but you think : "ah....I'll be fine..." ?!
Well,that's what I felt like about my health and me staying here without my meds.

And this is when something just pulled the rug from under my feet and from one moment to another, things were spinning out of control.
Stop speaking in metaphors, I got really ill. I mean really. I got some fucking South African fever shit, which kept me in a drifting-i-and-out-of-consciousness-kinda-state for a few days, then my nebuliser broke down but I was too ill to organise another one. So my lungs got worse literally by the hour, I couldn't breathe or eat because I was coughing so hard that the food would come right up again. I had to sit up all the time, even while sleeping (or trying to), which gave me a bitch of a backpain but I couldn't lie down cos I just couldn't breathe.
Nice one, eh?!
Nah, really, I don't think I have ever been so sick whle being abroad but I still hate to make a fuzz about myself so I kinda kept to myself, only got up for my shifts at the hostel, smiled and told everyone I was gonna be fine.
very clever, I know...:(

By that time it was even obvious to me that the chances of me still getting the med pac from Europe were very slim.
So you probably think: Hey, she was smart enough to make CF contacts beforehand, now there are people to help - the thing is, I didn't call them. I didn't ask anyone for help even though I knew I couldn't do this one on my own. I had been thinking about changing my ticket and going back to Europe asap to get medical treatment but the truth was, I was too sick to travel.

Well, like I said, I haven't been "fine" for about two months. I wasn't always completely sick, but I always had to spend a lot of time doing my nebs and physio and stuff.
So now, with this infection totally knocking me off my feet, I was physically weak and mentally drained and I honestly thought: OK, life was great, but that's it. You're stuck in a 3rd world country without medical attention, no insurance coverage for CF and too sick to go back home.
Sounds scary, but for some reason I wasn't too bothered. Maybe it was the fever, but I remember lying in my bed, being just content with what I have been doing with my life, totally free of regret but very much in peace of mind.

And this is when Pierre came in with a cuppa tea, telling me he was gonna take me to the hospital cos I was "fucking sick".
Then Ali, the In-land coordinator from my volunteer organisation came around with another group of new arrivals and when she heard about me and my situation she picked up the phone and I had an appointment with a doctor who appearantly had contacts which could get my medication rather quickly. Lyndon came around to see how I was doing and I finally called the CF contacts here in CT to get a nebuliser pump and in less than 15 minutes I was taken to the pharmacy where they rent them out (and lucky me, I got the last one available!!). the ladies there were absolutely great, giving me all the plastic pieces you normally have to buy, for free.
So while everything was all hectic for like two hours and before I could even see any doctors....the med package arrived! So I cancelled the appointments, I wanted to try and get better just taking the normal stuff before going crazy on some heavy local shit...:)

...and that was a week ago, I'm a little better, walking the beach for an hour every day, which is my exercise at the moment. It's like jaanie said it in one of his posts, you can exercise and do all kinda of sports, be in great shape and all....once you've been completely knocked off your feet by an infection like this, you start back at square one. Very annoying but considering, I thought I was never gonna see Long Beach again a week ago, I'm doing quite well. Also, the weather is getting better now (it was raining every day of last week!) so it's nice just to spend some time outside.
Still far from having a joll in the water with my board though so I might go and see a doctor here anyways. i still haven't returning to Europe earlier ruled out, I'm basically watching myself and see how things are going day by day.

So yeah, close fucking call I'd say and normally my so-long-it's-hardly-readable post would end here, telling y'all not to worry....
...but I just have to add these few lines...

I know I've been quite lucky that since I arrived in South Africa not a single thing has been stolen from me. Especially considering that I haven't exactly lived in the safest areas. But the other day, this luck just ran out.
A guy came up to the hostel, desperately in need of a lift to the next village. So after I had invited him for a coffee, I took him there in my car.
Not 2 mins later, I'm standing in the pharmacy, wanting to pay fro the nebuliser rental - my wallet's gone. That bastard!
And what's worse: as soon as this bloke had walked up the stairs to the backpackers, I'd had this feeling about him not being cool. But I had told myself that I was being paranoid and that it was absolutely not pc for me white chick to chase this black guy off the property....
Anyways, it's just such a hassle now cos my bank card was in my wallet (only cos that day I wanted to get some cash out to pay for the car I'm renting!) and I had to get it blocked and now my dad has to wire money into Pierre's bank account.....argh! What a fucking pisstake!

But then, reading through this post, this is really just a minor thing that's happened and hardly worth mentioning...:)

Surfin' the RSA

2006-04-23T18:02:00.000+01:00

Yep, I agree. Time for a new post and an up-date on what's been going on in my life.
So here ya go...

Like I said in my last post - it's been great, great, great. And because my lungs had been so good, the weather was getting a bit cooler ( no more sunbathing anymore-but still too nice to be sitting inside), the winter swell was starting to come in, the nagging of various surfer friends got worse and worse... long story short: I have started surfing, bought my own board (got a really good deal on a second hand 7 ft mini mal, cheers to Lyndon) with which I've been in the water almost every day!

Almost, because when I visited Doreen a few weeks ago in Cape Town city (where she's currently working in a hostel) I caught this nasty bronchitis bug from her which just wiped me out for almost two weeks.
I know that doesn't sound that long when especially with CF it takes us longer to get over stuff like colds and shit but whenn you've just started something new like surfing, everyone around you is in the water every day...and I couldn't even go for my daily beach run any more! These 2 weeks seemed like 2 months!
Plus, I got so bad that I actually half-considered taking a flight back to Europe wher I could get stronger meds or an IV or whatever I needed to get back on my feet.
It was also a shit time to get sick cos amongst us (Mark, Cat and me) wasd just a weird vibe. Maybe it's cos we're around each other 24/7 and getting tired of each other sometimes but there were a few times when Cat and I were just ready to leave and Mark was just being moody and inapproachable..:)

I also don't take being sick very well. I think I've mentioned my impatience already, so when I sit there and I can't run or surf or exercise in any way which I have been doing almost every day since I got here, I just cough all the time which gives me a headache and is exhausting...makes me just wanna jump out of my skin! I get mad, angry, frustrated....
Also the fact that this thing between me and Lyndon (yeah, I know...haven't told most of you but now you know) went all pearshaped didn't help. Started out "kinda cool", turned into "really good" to "fucking complicated" due to various relationship/commitment issues we both seem to have. So we've decided to just be friends which I guess is the easy way out but at the moment there is so much going on in our lives that we just don't have the nerves to deal with each other.
So I drove down to the beach a couple of times and sat there for ages, just looking at the water, had a good cry or two and finally decided to give it another go, to do even more AD and physio and all that shit that I had learned in the CF camp in Belgium (working with smooth breathing techniques rather than coughing hard and a lot) and maybe chill out mentally about the whole situation before I book my ticket home.

Anyway.
Enough of this, I think you're getting the point that I wasn't feeling to great at that time.

So I stayed out of the water and took really good care of myself, also started TOBI again and I finally started getting better. Slowly though, very slowly.

Then there was Easter which was also the end of my volunteering project. Kinda weird feeling walking out of the day care center on my last day, remembering when I firts came in or the time in Germany when I booked the programme, not knowing what I was getting myself into....and now it was already over. The phrase "ah..time just flies by" is so over used, especially when you're around travellers all the time but that's exactly what happens. Time just fucking flies by!

So now I'm chill & surf staff, working with Pierre, who - after I set up a cash-up and a booking system, cleaned up the bar/reception area and just sorted out a few things here and there - decided to go on a quick holiday acoupla days after my firts shift.
But it was fine, Pierre got to chill and I got to run a hostel on my own - built up my confidence and also made me think about working in hospitality/tourism. Maybe it really is the right thing for me cos even though I have been trying out different things since my apprenticeship, this is what I keep getting back to, wher I have fun working and what I think I'm good at. It might not be a 5-star hotel though...I guess I just have to find the right spot.

A few days ago we had a couple of walk-ins ( for everyone who's not familiar with the hotel lingo: guests without a booking), Veit and Julian from Berlin who wanted to camp at C&S. Got a good deal which made them stay for a week and gave me the opportunity to freshen-up my german...
They're free-climbers so their base was the hostel and then they'd take day trips to go climbing. Sounded pretty good so when they asked me if I wanted to join them one day I said "sure" without considering my health (which still wasn't tops or anywhere near it) or my life in general (I had NEVER climbed before and just met these guys who claim to be climbing for 15 years...they will be on the other end of the rope which keeps me from falling 600m down....)

And it was absolutely fantastic!!
I mean, it was quite a hike and another abseil ( and many times I was scared shitless I have to admit!) until we actually started to climb but (as you can see in the pics) we got a great view over Cape Town, it was anamazing experience and just absolutely worth it (even a very sore body the next day...)!
I climbed 4 routes, two 14ers and two 15ers (the routes are rated by their difficulty - 7 being the easiest and 36 being the hardest) which was fun but absolutely my limit. After that I was so exhausted and my hands were shaking because my muscles couldn't handle anymore. Veit & Julian climed someting like 26 so I'm far from that but a 15 for my first climb ever left me pretty stoked.
It was also great to be out again, in the middle of the mountains. When we hiked up thereI could feel my lungs getting tighter and I thought "well, if I quit I better do it now before we're in the middle of nowhere". But I really wanted to do this, especially after the frustrating two weeks so I just told my body to "shut the fuck up" and got on with it. And I was fine after that. Yeah, still short of breath and exhausted but also rushing of adrenaline and happy "I-did-it" hormones....!

So after Julian and Veit had made my day taking me free-climbing, I in return took them surfing two days later - and again, we had an absolute ball!
The wind was perfecly blowing from north-west, it was raining but that was actually not too bad since you get wet anyways but it keeps the sunshine surfers out of the water.
Because we had offshore wind, the waves were coming in nicely and after a set there was actually lotsa time to paddle back in again. And because Julian and Veit had long boards they were also able to stand up quite soon even though they had never surfed before. And I'm getting better and better on my mini mal so after our session in the water we were all dead tired but very satisfied with our performances..:)
I'm realising that surfing is actually a great exercise for me because ther's lots of paddeling involved and when you're lying on the board you have to keep your back arched and the shoulders back which is exactly should be doing (normally with a broom stick between my shoulders - but on a board in the water with other people it's so much more fun!!!)

So on the weekend we decided to pick up Doreen in Cape Town and head up to Worcester to say hello and to show Mark, Cat and Jo (a new volunteer girl who's taken my place at the day care center) my first project. I've talked about it quite a bit, especially comparing it with the project in Masiphumelele and now they could actually get a picture of it.
So we all rocked up there and for some reason there were a couple of hundred people there...the reason: they had a funeral on that day, the daughter of a community member got shot. We first felt really bad for coming but it wasn't such a dramatic atmosphere so it was ok. Mia and them from the kibbutz were about to prepare lunch for everyone so we offeredc our help and were soon caught up in a line cutting banana bread, making sandwhiches, grading cheese, baking pizza...of course, I was in my element getting it all together, organising who's doing what and preparing the plates and of course..serving them to the guests! Everyone's like: "why don't you work as a manager or in restaurants or hotels..?" and I'm thinking...well, this is actually what I normally do... so yeah, this goes back to what I was talking about before about working in hospitality...
But anyways, it was a good day and I think Mark, Cat and Jo enjoyed seeing a different project - even though they were a bit freaked out a t first. But who could understand that better than I, since I struggled living there until the day I left!

So there it is, a long post and some new pics....enjoy!

Chilli in the eye

2006-03-31T21:17:00.000+01:00

Yaaah... as you can tell from being slack on the posting..I'm having the time of my life here, guys!!!I dunno where to start - I'm enjoying the project, loving the kids, having a ball with the locals here and my health is just excellent!

Seriously, I only need one nebuliser in the morning, I get up at 6 am every day, do my nebs and go to Long Beach for a run from 7 to 8, then back to the hostel, shower, breakfast, chill...and then to work at 9.00 - great start, I feel incredible all day! I haven't been that healthy in a long time and I think that's what actually gets me out of bed that early. Plus, even though it 's not that hot anymore, the weather is still great so I watch the sunrise at half 6 (to all the germans: that is not 5.30, it's actually 6.30!!!) while I do my nebs and I'm ready to go to the beach.

I'm absolutely loving the work with the kids at the center and I'm quite surprised about that since I never wanted to work with disabled children. But seriously, they are absolutely great! Check the pics, Sesethu is my absolute favourite!The other volunteers, especially Mark and Cat (we work at the center together) are so cool to be around with! Mark just comes out with some hilarious shit half the time - his dry sense of humor is absolutely my cuppa tea..and Cat is just sweet as she is. Nah, really, we're a cool group and I'm glad Cat stays until the end of april and Mark isn't leaving until mid may.

Which leads me to the next thing: As most of you know, I was originally planning on doing this volunteering for 3 months, until mid april, then go to the UK and start a "real" job....I know, it sound silly so here it is: I've changed plans (you guys should be used to it by now, hehe) and extended my visa until the 3rd of July. So I'll be staying for a lil' while, just sorted a job out at this hostel where I can do shifts running this lodge for accomodation and food which is great cos that's basically my major expenses.Also, I might go on some "business" trips for chill'n'surf, like surf - and adventure trips and then write about it on the web page and sell it to the guests.Sounds great to me. plus, this place isn't too big so running it should be a piece of cake, really. See what 3 years of apprentice ship was for, eh?! hehe.

But enough about the future..what have I been doing?!

Ah..I went to a wedding!!!! Not only was it the FIRST wedding I'd ever been to...it was also a surfer beach wedding...which means basically: very laid back and totally unorganised - great! A friend of Lyndon got married to a girl from Botswana, they met in Mozambique and they're heading off to Zimbabwe (get it..?!) and we just met them at the Ledge (a surf spot near the hostel) so they just invited me along. So after I got a bit stressed about what to wear it turned out to be one of the best days I've had so far in South Africa. Everyone was so welcoming and nice, made me feel like I didn't belong anywhere else but that wedding. Great.

We also had a couple of days off from work so we decided to go on a road trip for a few days but because Mark endet up having a bad tooth ache we endet up staying at the hostel until our last day off. Screw it, we though, and still left for just one day. Was great, though. Ben (another surf traveler from Western Australia), Louise (volunteer), Cat, Mark and I headed up to Stelllenbosch which is a little university town along the wine route. Just cool to see, very European, though. And white. But there was a festival going on so Mark and I had an absolute ball playing the drums with a local guy...until the others were bored and made us go home...!

And then...Mark has discovered his cooking skills - which, I have to admit, are really great and also very convenient for me and Cat - since he cooks for all of us. But along with that comes his interest in trying new things...one of them being spices - or spicey flavours. So the other day he bought this huge bag of chilli peppers and added some of that to our chicken curry. Not only that we were all on fire after that - because I helped him cut the damn chilli and I somehow managed to rub my eye - man....has anyone of you ever had chilli in the eye..?! Dude, that's some serious pain! And it just doesn't stop burning, no matter I washed my eyes out with water! But yeah, it was all loads of fun and everyone else thought it was hilarious so we were the evening entertainment for the evening, trying to enjoy our chicken curry. Of course, we couldn't resist taking pictures of each other, red faces, watering eyes, runny noses...the works!

So yeah, I can't really think of anything else for now...check the pics, I've uploaded more, also some of the township where we're working..I know you guys have been waiting for that..:)

A new start

2006-03-16T14:07:00.000Z

Ok, ok....I guess it really is time for a new post. And I know at least Jelmer is gonna agree with me on that one..hehehe (gettin' a lil' impatient here dude, eh..?! :))

Anyways, guys..here are the latest news:

I endet up leaving the kibbutz, so now I'm staying at chill'n'surf, the backpackers we first got dropped off at when we arrived in Cape Town. It's located in Kommetjie, a small town (or village..?!) 40k from Cape Town right on the coast of the Atlantic Ocean.

why do I live there? Cos I've got a new project roght across the road in a black township called Masiphumemele (yeah, it took me a while until I could pronounce it correctly...). It's a township of informal settlements (I know you all want some pics but you're just gonna have to be patient on that one...) and I work with some other volunteers in a day care center for disabled children. It's really great work cos every volunteer is assigned to two kids so you feel really responsible for their improvement. Nomally about 7 kids get brought in by their parents at 9 am so we have breakfast with them, play games or try to teach them words, letters and numbers. On Tuesday and Thursday Nicki, a german physio comes in and does group activities and also shows us some stuff we can do with the kids.
"My" kids are Philasande, a 2 year old boy but he's more like a baby cos he's got severe epilepsy so he can't move on his own. He still gets fed with the bottle but he's really slow when he drinks and because his mum got annoyed she cut a hole in the nipple of the bottle which means he almost chokes when he drinks. So now he's terrified when anything goes near his mouth nd starts to gag. He's also really stressed and gets muscular contractions so his body is really tense and I try to relax him a bit. I've made him a hammok because he has a round back and this should improve things. They also put him in bed a lot, always on his back and because he's quite chesty, he can't hardly breathe so I put him on his belly and do physio with him, similar to what I do (or should do..!) to keep the thorax flexible. Phila has gotten so much better in the last week, it's unbelivable! I think it's just that no one ever wanted to hold him cos he cries a lot and he's so tiny but that little thing surely can raise hell! And now he's hardly in bed anymore, so gets loads of attention and I don't let him cry for hours either. Yeah, anyways, with this project you feel like you're actually doing something and after a day with Phila I'm actually quite exhausted.
My other kid is Paul,7, he suffered from meningitis and has problems moving his left side so I do some physio with him. Unfortunately, his mom hardly brings him in the center, though, so I haven't been doing all that much work with him.

So life in the hostel with the other volunteers is great. Because we're all on different project there's a great deal of exchange experiences which is cool. Also, I've rented a car again (you really can't get anywhere or always have to try to get a lift off someone which is a pain in the arse if I wanna go for a run at the beach. And hitch-hiking is not really safe.) so I get around again. I really think I've made the right decision coming here. So much better!

And, because this is a backpackers we get infos about all the stuff that you can do around here! So Liz, Cat (two other volunteers) and I went canyoning yesterday! And oh..my..god...I was dead afterwards but it was one of the best days of my life, really!
First, I was thrilled how well things were with my lungs, I was coughing a bit but not at all uncontrolled. And I mean it was a hectic day, I got up at 3.45 am to do my nebs and stuff cos the guys from Frixon Adventures picked us up at 6 am! 3 Hour drive out to the mountains and after a lovely breakfast we took off. Hicked a few K's to the first canyon and man, I was a bit scared going over the edge the first time. Also, we abseiled down waterfalls which made the whole thing a bit tricky and, needless to say, I was soaked after my first abseil. So we hiked and abseiled more until 5 pm and we all slept on the drive back to the hostel.
So yeah, today my muscles are sore as hell and I have problems sitting down and getting up. But hell, it's definitely worth it!!!

So to sum it up: Change of location was definitely a wise thing to do and yeah, thanks so much for all the encouraging comments and emails I got regarding leaving the kibbutz. I really wasn't sure whether I was doing the right thing or not but reading all the mail was really really good!
The hostel rocks and yeah, I realise this huge difference between coloured and white South Africa. It's totally weird to go from one world into the other and I notice how much easier it is here for me to fit in. But I think I've learned a lot living in the coloured community, I realise it when I work in Masiphumelele. It's not hard to adapt there for me at all. But I appreciate the fact that I go there to work, but when I come home to chill'n'surf, I know the rules of the "society" there, I know what to say and how I come across with certain things. I know how to take people and I know how they take me. It's easier and more relaxed.
Great to do another project and to see that volunteering not always means frustration. So yeah, I really like working with the kids, they are great!

And also (because I know there are a few mum's reading this - inclunding mine...) this place is a lot safer that the Kibbutz, simply because we work but don't live in a township. We did have some riots here the other night with burning tyres and stuff cos we just had elections and the housing situations is a disaster but that's peanunts compared to the shootings at the kibbutz area. So yeah, all of you who tend to worry a little bit to0 much....chill out, I'll never be completely safe but we're going down on the risk scale. A tiny bit. hehe.

But I think that's all the news for now...added some more pics though, so check them out - especially from the canyoning!!!

Decisions, decisions......

2006-03-02T13:10:00.000Z

well, here I am and there's been so much going on but I'll try to keep it as short as possible just in case you get bored.

So since I got this rented car I have been exercising daily, the only thing I can do here is swimming but I do that for an hour every day. Go me.

On Thurday I headed off to Cape Town to see the CF specialist PW (Professor Wilcox) at the Groote Schuur Hospital. Thanks to Karin and to the CF Associasion here, it was no problem getting a "clinic" (that's what they call a check-up) so at noon sharp I stood outside the hospital's gate. I was kinda glad Doreen had come with me cos the firts thing I saw at the door was a huge metal detector. I mean, I have been to a few hospitals in my life, none of them had a bloody metal detector at the entrance. The Security guys were really friendly though and they explained to us that the reason they have this thing is because often there will be gang fights and shootings nearby, someone gets rushed to the hospital but they'll have to check for weapons. Aha. makes sense.
Anyways, the hospital was quite old school-looking, dark hallways and stuff...Doreen said it reminded her of East Germany - before the wall came down! hehe....
At the CF section we were greated by Ruth, another Lady from the CF Association who had just come by to say hello to me. I also met Shelly, a CF adult who was going for a clinic. They do have a funny system there, though. I mean, in Europe we are almost paranoid about separating CFers who have different germs to avoid cross-infection. That's one reason why I don't do CF camps a lot, maybe every 3-4 years. In Germany, a CFer with pseudomonas would never get an appointment the same day as a CFer without that germ, and even in the CF camps in Belgium they do their nebulisers and drainage and stuff in separate rooms.
Here, they have clinics twice a months and who ever shows up shows up. No appointment needed and you don't even call and tell them you're coming. Shelly showed me some of the hospital later and I saw that on one side of the hall they have rooms but on the other side, the hallway is just wider and there are like 10-15 beds with patients, so they are basically staying in the hall. Shelly said when you do IV's in the hospital (and they normally do - since the at-home-version is too expensive) they don't want you to leave the hospital at all - which would be my worst nightmare. Cos when you have your IV you're not really sick, eh?! You're usually just bored to death. Any ways, she said they even mix CFers and TB's (Tuberculosis patients) and all of a sudden I didn't feel so comfortable walking around the halls anymore.....
But PW and Richard (a senior registar - whatever that means...I just got it from his name tag...) were really nice and I had a good chat to them. They couldn't believe I'm taking all this "fancy" medication, Tobramycin for example, an antibiotic I take on a daily basis is not available here because it costs too much. They hardly prescribe antibiotics here anyways for that same reason. So they try to work with macrolides and just cheap stuff they can afford. The patients have to come in once a month to get a check-up and their medicine. Some have health insurance, like medical aid but Shelly said she's had problems with them paying her med bills.
So yeah, because in my country we have quite a good health system (which is about to change, though) and my parents pay for my meds I have never really had to worry about how expensive my meds are. They were gonna have a test run for tobramycin here in SA but the parents of CFers refused, saying that if Tobi really worked for their kids they couldn't just tell them that they can't afford it. Stuff like that really gets to me cos we never had discussions like that at home. Whatever meds I needed I got.
So yeah, I had a lung function done (with a very antique-looking thing...but it was all for free so I won't bitch..hehe) and that gets me to the next thing I need to tell ya about...

...results were not too great, I'm about down to 50% (not surprising, though...I have been sick since a few days after I got to the Kibbutz, I'm around people who catch the flu easily due to malnutrition, I have just started the exercise and the heat strokes don't make things better). The thing is, I went for runs at the beach on Fri, Sat and Sun and while Friday I could only run for 10 mins, on Sun I was doing 30 mins easily and (listen Doc: this is for you...my pulse rate was even in the supposed area - between 100 and 130!!!). I also felt 100% better, I didn't cough at night or in the mornings before doing the nebuliser when I sayed in Kommetjie (this is where the chill'n'surf backpackers is and my accomodation when I go to Cape Town) when in Worcester I'm coughing quite a lot.
I've asked the Cf people what they thought of it and Karin said maybe it's the gas and parrafin stoves they're using. Hell, I dunno I just know that my lungs prefer to be near the sea and actually I have to admit that I felt the same way in Australia. So no news, really.

So what to do?
Well, I had been thinking about it all weekend and finally came to the conclusion that maybe (for the first time in my life) I should put the CF and my health first and leave the Kibbutz. I felt so bad about it though, cos I thought I was gonna do this for three months and some of my friends and family are saying that I should start sticking to something rather than doing all kinds off different things all the time...and maybe they have a point. I mean, commiting to something for 3 months isn't really that long - but here I am, leaving again, after only what...six weeks?!
So yeah, I called my organisation to ask for a different project, one that's on the coast and they have a couple in Kommetjie (this is where chill'n' surf backpackers is). There's an animal shelter and a center for children with special needs. On Friday we're all going back to the chill'n'surf (time is up for the girls and we're going to have a going-away-party for them) and I think I might check the projects out, see which one I can get into. I was really glad that Ali, my In-land coordinator was so great, she didn't question my reason for changing placements once after I told her the whole story.

Anyways, back to the story...in case there was one...
So after the hospital Shelly was nice enough to accompany me to Fish Hoek, a small town outside of Cape Town (as you all can imagine - I would have never found the way on my own...) where Karin, the chairman of the Cf association of Cape Town lives.
So I (finally, after only talking on the phone all the time) I met her, as well as her daughter Barbara, she's my age and got a son named Darryl. They all live with Karin but it's not too bad because they've got a huge house. Upstairs in a separate apartment live Stephen, Karins 37-year old son who's got Cf and Jane, his wife.
Such lovely people and after I shared some travel/CF stories they made me stay for dinner which was delicious. Of course, they had a laugh at me for the little amount of food I ate (for a CFer, though!)...:)

So I spent basically the weekend with them, went to the beach with Barbara and Darryl, met her boyfreind Andrew and some other friends and together we convinced Karin to do some baby sitting so we could all go out for drinks....:)

Ok, so I'm not sure if that's all I wanted to write. see, this post is a bit tricky, I've started writing it on the 2nd of march but today, when I actually publish the post, is already the 7th and I'm not sure which date it will show on the blog. Yeah, I know....you're wondering why I take 5 days to finish a bloody entry...well, lemme tell ya. We've had power cuts big time, every day we only had electricity for a few hours. That means no cuppa tea for the brit girls and no internet for me! But now I'm at the c&s backpackers where there aren't so many power cuts (cos this is the white area) plus we've got internet here. So yeah, you might just get a short up-date post soon.....maybe.

Anyways, It's almost 6 am and I've been sitting on this computer for an hour so time to get some breakfast, nebs and all this morning-stuff (shower, cleaning teeth, getting dressed, etc.) and go to work.

Later.

...followed by an awesome weekend!

2006-02-20T09:34:00.000Z

yeah, I know....not time for another post yet, but I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Jaanie.

And because I don't want this to be a two-line post, I might ramble on a bit more about what's been going on in the last coupla days....

so yeah, this weekend has just been great! I mean, all i did is drive around the coast (even though this car hiring thing was a bit of a pain in the arse...), chill loads and loads, go out on the piss Sat night with the girls in Cape Town, and I actually went for a run at the beach which was just awesome and afterwards I felt like a new person! So good!
The guys at the backpackers are just cool and it was so good to chat to other people again, meet up with other volunteers and share stories, etc. Harvey was there which was great fun and I had a good chat with him about my project so now I'm convinced I'm not gonna give up straight away, I've gotta give it at least another go.
I've rented a car now for two weeks to see how things go and I'm thinking of keeping it for the rest of my stay here. It's just so much easier and I can actually get to places. It's the only way to get around and for me to get to the pool or the gym to do some exercise. And after Jaan has been reporting how disciplined he has been with his work out, I really can't be all that slack...! hehe...

So after a tasty barbie (braai, in afrikaans) we picked up Doreen in Cape Town and went home in a very loud car (never mind - we fucked up the exhaust real good, trying to go up a gravel road. We got stuck halfway up so we put down the gas, tyres spinning, rocks flying everywhere. So we knocked a whole in the exhaust and I called the car rental place, giving them shit about giving me a fucked up car. So they'll exchange the car next weekend, but until thenI've just gotta drive around like that. anyways.).
This morning we had our weekly meeting again where I told them the story of our day in the creche on Friday. So now there's always gonna be a teacher around when we're there to assist.

Then on Friday arvo another volunteer arrived, Tess, from England. She's been to the Kibbutz before and is a total fan of it. She's quite cool, 19 and curses like a bloody sailor - so totally my cuppa tea. She gives me a lot of shit but she doesn't mind taking any from me so I think we'll get along fine.

And then...hehe, here goes another rather scary story from the kibbutz, so Angi - you might wanna just skip the next bit....;)

Last night, after we got back, we all fell fast asleep and I sleep with my window open. Against every advise, I've gotta admit. It's just that the air is so bad in our room cos it's so hot during the day that I feel like I suffocate when the window is closed. So, it's been fine for the last month. Until last night.
So here's what happened: I sleep on my belly and I was dreaming some weird shit, something where I couldn't move my hands. That woke me up and I realise I REALLY can't move my hands. So I look up to the window and I look into a black face of a total stranger, he's holding my hands through the burglar bars and I'm thinking: "what the hell..?!" So I shout at him "fuck off!" and he disappears and all of a sudden Doreen's like : "man, that was fucking scary!" and I'm like :"what the fuck just happened?" So we kinda crack up laughing cos the whole situation was so bizarre but I guess we both know that this could have ended a bit differently.
So yeah, really weird and I guess from now on I'll just have to keep the window shut. And maybe follow the advise given.....

Anyways, I better go cos I was actually on my way to the pool but - lucky me - they are cleaning it now so no swimming for me this morning.
Try again tomorrow.

Probably the shortest post I've written so far....

...take care everyone!

a week and a half of pure shit!

2006-02-17T17:52:00.000Z

well, let's see...this just sucks. I'm tired of the kibbutz, tired of its people, tired of this "let's-wait-til-God-gives-us-a-sign-mentality" and definitely tired of being bored.

But I guess you all must be a bit confused now so I should explain myself....

...so they decided I should be the driver for the kibbutz and I was ok with it, assuming that meant a few trips a week and that I could still continue my projects....WRONG! Driver appearantly means being the idiot, being on call 24/7 , driving long hours because people can't organise themselves and instead of one trip you have to do five. It's been so hot and quite humid here and I really struggle with it, I went to the pharmacy to get me some minerals and vitamins, magnesium and salt tablets but around noon I'm still knocked out. Doesn't bother the kibbutz people, though so on Friday I started driving at 8 in the morning until 5 in the eve. No break and at five I just said: "that's it, no more driving today". So I went to my room and had a heat stroke, with fainting, throwing up, bad headache....the works. I was pissed off as well cos there are three other volunteers who have licences but just cos they just don't feel ok driving, I have to do a job which is normally split with two or three others. Normally, there is a "transport manager" but he's in Cape Town for one year and only comes to the kibbutz on weekends but guess what - that's really not my problem. And that's what I told Shaenette, the kibbutz-coordinator on the meeting on monday. I was in a foul mood, I had to stay at home all weekend because I was sick because of this fucking heat stroke. Pissed me right off.
So at the meeting I demanded a schedule because I'm not gonna be on call 24/7, I have other projects and I just wanted to do some driving to help out. And they all know about my CF and that have to do my nebs which means I get up 2 hours early every morning. So I told them to let me know if I'm needed before 8 for driving cos then I'd have to get up in time.
But do you think they care?! Yeah, at the meeting everyone agreed with me, two days later (no schedule has been set up, of course.) they knock on the door at 7 am, wanting me to drive them somewhere. And I refused. I told them, that's not on, I was in the middle of doing my nebs and I'm not jumping whenever someone just fucking snaps their fingers. Fuck that!
So we had a bit of an issue and I told them basically if they keep bitching, they can just find themselves another driver. I'm so tired of this bullshit! I haven't done anything in the library since I got the driver's job, not even talking about doing any exercise. and that's another thing: I asked if I could use the kibbutz car 3 times a week in the mornings to go swimmimg or to the local gym (the places are not that far but to walk there would be something like suicide...)and I have been told it wouldn't be a problem. Turns out, it is. Appearantly the car is needed. And ther's no one who will walk me to the pool and you can't rely on minibus taxis here. Which basically means, I can't go. After I have been stressing for four weeks now, how I need to do some exercise to keep (or get!) my lungs in shape.Pissed me off again.
I realised they had no structure at the kibbutz and I know we can't just show up and tell them how thing are done in "our world" but damn, there's just no support!
On Tuesday the girls organised a Valentines ball with music and a dance competition and they had to pay for the prices and printing the posters out of their own pockets! And of course, Shaenette scanned the music because as a christian, they can't listen to bad language. so half of the chosen hip hop / R'n'B Songs got kicked out five minutes before the ball started.
Funny thing though, when the girls started getting ready for the ball(clothes, make-up, hair, etc.) they actually showed up with this hair straightener which is at least the size of a blow-dryer and I was like "what the hell..?!" I mean, if you're backpacking, don't you just carry the stuff that's absolutely necessary for the trip..? The very last thing I would pack is a bloody hair straightener..!! Well, I guess, my definition of "absolutely necessary" differs very much from theirs, hehe... was great fun watching them all do each others hair, though..;) They asked us if we wanted our hair done as well, and Doreen and I were just like :" nah, thanks, we're alright". If I ever change my mind about that, letting them make my hair look like spaghetti, I'll make sure to post a picture..haha
Thursday (this week) I started to feel better so I went swimming in the morning (lucky me- a taxi came along!) and in the arvo I went to the town hall where Juan (the non-christian at the kibbutz I told you about) works. He introduced me to Colin, a friend of his whom he met in prison and who's working in the economic/tourism department here in Breede Valley (Worcester is part of that). I said I'd be interested in doing some voluntary work for him and he has actually worked and lived at the kibbutz and...well, he's not a fan at all. He found it quite boring (it is!) and not at all structured (that's what I'm saying!). He's annoyed by the christian holy-holy attitude and he just felt like his time there was kinda wasted. Juan himself is critisizing a lot about the kibbutz so I'm not really sure why he's still living there. It just feels good to talk to people outside of the kibbutz and hear their opinion about it (which in some cases is not that different from mine). So I'll be working with Colin once a week, starting next tuesday and I'm quite excited. I feel so bored at the kibbutz cos first you have to find something to do but then you don't get any support and sometimes they don't even want you to do certain things because they know you're leaving sooner or later.
Then they told us yesterday that we have a class of 5-6 year olds today at the creche all day from 8am-2pm. we have to do some teaching and we were supposed to be given a lesson plan cos we don't even know those kids nor their level of skills. To no one's surprise, the lesson plan never arrived. And they told us about the class last night so we didn't have any time nor material to prepare anything so I knew we were bound to be frustrated at the end of the day. None of us has teaching experience, I only have done the TEFL course but all the exercises there assume you know the kids' level of english.
Oh, I just had no idea.....
So Angie, Kate and I walked into the class this morning, full of energy and also very unsure of what to do but basically we felt quite confident about getting things done somehow.
Then we stood in front of 52 kids, most of them fighting, throwing chairs or rucksacks at each other, pulling each others hair, crying, jumping on the tables, etc. CHAOS. And they wouldn't listen. I mean, we tried every bloody thing....nope. They just didn't give a shit. They even hit Angie (poor girl isn't much taller than the kids) so I just had it. I just did mayor damage prevention but there's absolutely no way to do any teaching. And I was pissed off at Natalie, whose class we were having for not giving us any assistance. At two the three of us were dead. I mean, Kate and Angie had been screaming at them for 6 hours straight. And we all agree thet this was the first and the last time of having a class in the creche on our own.

So yeah, for this weekend we hired a car to (finally!) get back to Cape Town and relaxing at the chill'n'surf backpackers. And guess who's driving..?! Hehe..yep, it's me! But I don't mind that much, this isn't the kibbutz car.
Then I hired a car for the next two weeks, see how it goes with my extercise. maye I'll have to get one for the rest of my stay cos the Kibbutz is driving me mad. And now I'm over the flu, so I really wanna do some sports. I went swimmimg the other day and it was awesome! I felt so much better afterwards!
Tonight there's a pool party down the road, tomorrow we're off to the beach to catch a wave or two (and probably bust our arses more than once on that bloody board!!), another party saturday night, chilling out on sunday and watching some new volunteers arive and then Sunday eve or Monday morning head back to the Kibbutz...even though we all don't feel like going back for a while. The girls are off anyways in two weeks time and when i see them planning their trips around Soth Africa I just wanna pack my bags and go. I really don't think I want to do the kibbutz for another two months if it's the way it has been for the past 4 weeks. Doreen wants to go to Johannesburg at the end of march and asked if i wanted to join her. Get a job, not voluntary though. Just something that pays for food and accomodation. Maybe in a hostel or something. But then I feel like I've failed again, leaving the kibbutz early. I dunno, I guess I have to think about it real good before I make a decision. I guess I shouldn't have put it on this blog yet, this whole idea of leaving early but, hell, I thought I'd let you know what's going on in my mind. Anyways, I won't make a decision any time soon. see if things get better or whatever.

So enough of the bitching, sorry for this ill-mooded post everyone but I'm just annoyed at the moment and I had ti get things off my chest. And, this is my blog anyways so I can be bitchy if I wanna..:)
Before I head off and get ready for the party, thanks guys for the lovely emails and comments, I especially enjoy reading them at the moment when things are not the greatest here.

And Doc, I know this is pathetically late but I haven't been on the net since my last post so I just wanted to wish you a belated "HAPPY BIRTHDAY", Harro said you'd be out of town (smart move, really!)but I hope you had a great day and you're enjoying your holidays in the warm weather! And thanks for the kind post by the way!

still a waitress at heart...

2006-02-07T13:53:00.000Z

Hey y'all..back in town, this time I'm at the white internet place though because the coloyred one shut down (the owner probably got shot..)

So what's been going on? Well, first of all, I've had a GREAT weekend, which started actually Friday morning when everyone from the volunteer house took off to the station.
At the Kibbutz we had a rummage sales, kinda like a flea market and everything was ridiculously cheap. a shirt was like 5 Rand , which is like 50 cents. It was open to the community as well and we organised the market to kinda get more people from the flats around involved in the kibbutz. So we had free tea and coffee and because people started to come in at around noon bit by bit, I decided to serve them at the table. It was mostly eldery women who came and they are all really poor so most of them have never been to a restaurant before where they would have been served. And (something I didn't even think about) they (as coloureds)sure as hell have never been served by a white person before! So they were a bit stunned when I greated them and asked whether I could bring them a cuppa tea or coffee...it was great fun though and I guess part of me will always love being a waitress.
So after a chat and an introduction about the kibbutz we had the flea market and it was a huige success. we made about 2000 Rand and half of the women from the community who had been there came back in the evening, asking how they could participate. Mia, the coordinator for the volunteers asked me if I wanted to do stuff with the women, like going to the gym, taking walks or just socialising since they all really liked "the white waitress". So yeah, maybe I'll do that.
On saturday I got of quite early to go into town and go on the net. But they didn't have connection at the cafe and the place for the whites was closed. So I walked to the coloured swimmimg pool and for about two hours I was the only white person there. Not that it bothered me, but you just notice things like this.
Since the pool is not really in town (and this is where you catch a minibus taxi to the kibbutz) and I didn't feel like walking all the way back there, I decided to take the risk and just walk back straight to the kibbutz. I mean, it was around 3.00pm so I thought there wouldn't be too many gangsters hangin' around...
Everything went fine but when I turned into Robertson street (the dangerous one...and the one, where the kibbutz is), my heart was beating a bit faster. Not a lot of people on the street, just two coloured guys walking on the other side of the street. All of a sudden though, one of the turned around to me, crossed the road and started walking towards me. Yeah, there goes an adrenaline rush. I though, that's it, you're getting mugged now.
He said with "salute" which is a ganster greating over here and I replied with it, adding a polite "how are you doing". He was fine, passed me and I had just thought of me being lucky, when he came back, telling me I should wait. It kinda annoyed me the game he appearantly played, I thought, why doesn't he just take my bag and fuck off?!
Anyways, I obviously didn't say any of that, just answered his questions about who I was and what I was doing here (of course, emphasizing that I worked with street kids at the kibbutz, that it's voluntary work so for a good cause and that I don't get paid at all, which I was hoping made clear that there was no poiunt in mugging me...).
So we were chatting while I tried not to stare at his huge scar on his neck or the prison tattoes on his arms. He had lots of dollar and Pound signs tattoed which means that he's a thief.
And then I did something weird. I thought, hell, if that's a gangster trying to hurt me - tough shit, he's got me now. But at least the some others might not bother me. So I asked him to walk me home to the kibbutz. He said, no problem, so we walked down Robertson st, passing loads of other not very trusting looking people and we talked about his family, and his baby daughter and what he's doing and loads of other stuff...I just thought, as long as he talks he won't hurt me. Or so I was hoping. And it worked, I got to the kibbutz, a bit shaky but also feeling stupid cos maybe that had just been a decent guy but because veryone is giving you hoorror stories about the people here you can't pass a person on the street without worrying about being shot.
So yeah, after I got back to the house, I took a shower and tried out my new after sun lotion (here goes sunburn number two) and met Juan, a kibbutznik (the only non-christian on the kibbutz) who has been to jail many times during the apartheid because of his political underground activity for the ANC. An amazing, very wise man, who knows a lot of shit about a lot of shit. I love talking to him and he invited me me to meet some of his friends in the community. That was great, well, they were all a bit drunk from brandy straight from the bottle (very common activity on the weekends here since there is nothing else to do) but very friendly and so interested in my culture and my travels.
Sunday I just chilled, tried to sleep in but didn't work cos I was wide awake t 6 in the morning. So I did my nebs and stuff and started to clean the house until lunch time. In the arvo watched some DVDs with Nick and Shamane from the kibbutz and in the eve, the girls all came home so we shared weekend stories.

Yesterday we had our weekly meeting with the kibbutz staff and talked about some of the projects. I demanded some help from the boys for the library (they start getting the idea that I should pay them for building up THEIR library..?!) which I'll sort out with Ivan, who works with the boys. Souldn't be too big of a problem though. The creche is still a disaster and the girls are getting frustrated cos they're not getting any support. They had a pretty good concept for it but no one's willing to actually change things.
Because Nick is leaving Thursday, they'll need someone who's doing the driving for the kibbutz..and guess who that's gonna be..?!
Exactly, ME!!! And I don't wanna hear any shit from whoever's seen my Twingo car....I AM A GOOD DRIVER! The scratches on the sides were not my fault!! :)
Nah, I had a test drive with Shaenette, the head of the kibbutz andthere's not really anyone else who could do it cos Angie doesn't have a license, Kate and Sarah are scared and Doreen doesn't wanna do it. So that leaves just me and whoever might come as the next volunteer.
And just in case Colin's reading this: I am very good at driving on this side of the road with the kibbutz-van without your instructions, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! :)

So that's been my life here for the last few days. my cold has moved from my sinuses to my lungs so just to let you know: I don't feel to great. Same with Doreen, we're sharing a room so I guess that was bound to happen. The girls have decidedcto quit smoking so now we have to sick ones in the house and the other three are grumpy/bitchy/binge eating due to the lack of nicotine. Great. :)
The heat is not as bad anymore but I'm still popping them vitamin/salt/calcium pills.
Got an appointment on Thurs, 23rd at the CF clinic in Cape Town to say hello. Might get a lung function there and hook up with some local CFers. Should feel better by then.

This weekend I think I'm going back to chill'n surf backpackers, to get some rest, time off from the kibbutz and maybe try to surf (since I din't get to do this in oz, due to this nasty knee injury....HELLO SIDEBAR IN SYDNEY!!!)

ps: have added some more pics...have a look!

sweating at 40 degrees!

2006-02-02T13:45:00.000Z

Hi guys!

This time I actually managed to find a netcafe in Worcester..! They have a "coloured" cafe and one for the whites (did anyone say apartheid was over? well, someone should tell the people here..!) which is (of course!) more expensive. So we decided to go to the coloured cafe, it doesn't have air con but it'll do.

My weekend in Cape Town was absolutely great, after Doreen and I had finished all the emails, blog posts, guestbook entries, etc we went for a walk around town and then to Waterfront, where we met Sharon and Collins, two friends of Doreen from Kenya who are studying in CT at the time. They have been living in a hostel for a year now and cool enough, we stayed the night at "their place". After a quick lunch we caught a minibus taxi (what a weird invention..and I'm sure it only works here in afrika! It's a van with a taxi driver but every foreigner will be advised not to use it. Because the drivers sometimes don't have a drivers license - and even if they do, they drive like satan's chasing them! They cram as many people as possible in there, no worries if they don't have a seat and they just won't go anywhere if the car isn't totally packed. Then you have to yell at the driver where you want tp be dropped off and hope that he heard you or is simply in a good mood to stop.) but al of a sudden the taxi stopped, the driver started yelling at us, raising hell and we all sisn't have a clue about what was going on. well, we just got out, payed him (of course! the minibus taxis are run by the mafia and you don't wanna mess with those guys!) and walked for about two hours to the beach. when we finally got there we had some nice fresh fruit and a laugh at all the tourists around. all white, by the way, Sharon was the only black person there. she said blacks don't normally go to the beach. dunno why. funny though, she stayed in the shade all the time, said she didn't want to go too dark...!
So after chilling at the beach, we managed to get a minibus taxi which took us (all the way!) back to Sharon's place, we went out for some cheap but very delicious thai food and got ready to go out.
That was so much fun. It felt great to do something "normal" again, after a week of seeing (and living) within destruction and poverty. And because we were with Sharon and Collins, we got into all the black bars which had great music and no tourists!
Because Doreen and I had been up since three in the morning we were ready to go home at only four o'clock so we headed back to the hostel, fell fast asleep and on Sunday we went for a nice breakfast at the mall where Sharon works, headed to some park to chill and took the train back to Worcester.

When we came back to the kibbutz, there was a really weird vibe going on, the girls (Kate/Sarah/Angie) looked very tired and the boys were quite aggressive. So we asked what had happened and appearantly some had gotten into fights, the girls had organised a BBQ, hoping the boys would help with the preparations....well, they didn't. they played socker, came when the food was ready, bitched that it hadn't been enough (they hasn't paid a dime for it- it was some of our food!) and fucked off. No thanks, no washing plates, no nothing.
well, that's the boys. they're totally in a"receiving mode", they get loads of free stuff and they just don't see why they should help with anything. I felt sorry for the girls cos they seemed to be really disappointed but on the other hand I don't see why they keep paying for the boys 24/7, they are buying them stuff constantly and I don't see why. Yes, they are poor and their kives have bben quite rough at times but they alos don't know the value of a lot of things. For them, acamera is a camera, aphone is a phone and they don't care if it breakes. there is so much stuff lying around in the kibbutz that I find it hard to do fundraising if the things they get is not taken care of.

So that was the weekend and it was great to get out of the kibbutz. One thing I have to get used to is that the boys are always around and they always want something, whether it's food, money or simply entertainment. And after a week at the kibbutz I was staring at the tall buildings, the clean streets (paved!!!) and shopping malls in the city! I had already adapted to the township style..! So yeah, I felt like I had recharged my batteries.

So on monday we met with Sheanette, the head coordinator of the kibbutz to finally discuss some of the projects. Doreen is doing dome painting at the school, two volunteers need to be at the creche every day (we're switching every hour to survive the kids' energy...), we cleaned out the reception area which was supposed to be painted this arvo but (no surprise- this is africa) we didn't get any paint yet so we'll just have to wait for that before we do anything. Then I have taken over the so-called library, a dirty little room with books and dirt everywhere. they were all mixed, afrikaans and english, no categories, the floor covered with books, the shelves broken.... and since the girls have started to read with the boys (some of them will go back to school in a week)I have decided that the library needs a system so people can actually use it. Lots of hard work, still a lot to do but I'll show you all some pictures once I'm finished....

Then I was working at the creche which is getting better and better, things are getting more organised. I was in the babies' room the other day, carrying quite a chubby thing around and when I eventually got tired of it, I wanted to sit him down so he could walk and play with the other kids. So I put him down, he was standing up and he's quite tall so I let go of his hands and said something like "go on, play with the others."
well, he didn't go anywhere. As soon as I let go of him, he fell in the sand, face first. He looked a bit funny like this and I first thought he might be disabled or something. So i picked him back up and saw everyone just laughing at me. that poor thing was quite chubby but still a baby so way too young to be able to walk...I just didn't have a clue, man! I had just thought he would have been older...stupid, not-walking baby..! :)

Oh, guys, I've gotta go, the girls are ready and we still have to go and get some groceries....and in a hickstown like this, shops close at 5 pm!!!

so healthwise, I am a bit sick, means I have actually managed to catch a cold at 40 degress heat! I think I got it at the hostel in CT though, cos some other guys there weren't feeling too well....anyways, no biggie, really. The heat is worse than anything, I'm trying to drink loads, taking salt tablets, calcium....still feel knocked out at noon when we're having hot winds... but then, I should stop whinging cos I'll stay here over the weekend, all the girls are either off to Stellenbosch or Cape Town so I have almost 48 hours by myself and I'm definitely spending some of that at a pool!

The first week

2006-01-28T09:04:00.000Z

Hey everyone!
I know I haven't written in a while but that's cos I don't have internet at the kibbutz...and I can't bother to get everyone into town every day and to walk alone is not safe....but anyways, you can expect to hear from me once a week. But before I start, I'd like to thank you all for your comments and emails, I have just spent an hour in the net cafe, reading them all!!

So here we go... Today is Saturady and I'm in Cape Town, took a train this morning at 4.30am (the only train going from Worcester to CT), which means I had to get up at 3 o'clock this morning...but what am I doing..I should start with my arrival at the kibbutz on Monday...

After taking a trip to the mall near the hostel in Cape Town to get things like a South African sim card, an adapter that fits (my travel adapter is evidently NOT made for RSA...found that out when I was gonna do the nebuliser at the hostel. Fortunately it also runs on batteries which I had recharged in Germany before I left so it was all good.) and whatever else was needed, we finally headed off to Worcester, where we arrived after a two-hour car drive. Did anyone ever say Worcester was "near" Cape Town..?! Well, it must have been some Aussie, cos the guys "down under" have quite a different understanding of distances (as I had to learn the hard way..!). My point is, Worcester is in the sticks, man! We are the volunteers furthest away from Cape Town and we're lucky if the coordinators bother to come by once while we're here...
Anyways. we got there, got taken to our house, which is a tiny wooden house for 5 volunteers to live in. Two rooms, a sink, a bathroom and a lounge, which is also the entrance area. Basic, but alright. The thing was so, we are six volunteers. Dorren, a german girl had arrived a week before us and Marie, a girl from Ireland had already stayed for 3 months. Then I arrived with Angi, Sarah and Kate from England. So one of us had to stay with a teacher from the primary school in the flats nearby the kibbutz. No biggie, really, exept for the fact that this is a township we're talking about and while the kibbutz itself is quite safe, if you are a stranger, white and a female it would simply be suicide to walk around (especially after dark) in the streets outside the kibbutz area.
So the question was solved rather quickly who would move into the flat until Marie leaves and who do you think it was...? Right, I was the lucky one. Well, I guess I have to say I kinda volunteered since Kate&Sarah had come here together and they wanted to stay close to each other an Angi said she was scared. So, I went.
It's actually alright, just a bit annoying to walk over to the kibbutz early in the morning where I do my nebs and stuff, take a shower before the girls get up. The first time I was escorted to the flat, where I share a room with Vera, the teacher and her mum. Very basic living, we brush our teeth over the bath tub, the bathroom itself doesn't have a door and ther's no hot water. But I only sleep there anyways. Well, I have been walking over to the flat on my own cos I just hated for everyone to make a fuzz and it's cool. I'm starting to get to know the people so I hope I'll be fine. Plus, Marie left today so I'm moving into her room on the kibbutz property anyways. So too late to be worried, guys..hehe!
But back to the story. we got there, were shown a round a little bit and then basically left alone. That was the case for three days and it really started to annoy me cos I guess I expected them to have some serious work for us. Well, there goes the South African time frame I still have to get used to. They wanted for us to chill abit, getting to know each other..all that crap... ;)
So on Wednesday, Sarah and I just went into the creshe, which is kinda like a kindergarden....and can you believe it: kids actually like me! And I like them! It was so much fun to run around and play with them, although they only speak africaans. but at that age, ther's not really a language barrier, cos they watch you so closely. And they touch. A lot more that European kids I think so I soon had kids all over me, screaming to stick my tongue out (for the hundreths time..!) so they can see (and grab!!) my piercing, dirty little hands in my hair and ears and snot wiped all over my clothes...nice!
So after the creshe I was ready for lunch (which always consist of pumpkin, either rice, pasta or potatoes and a piece of greasy meat. so if you're lucky like Doreen, who is a vegetarian and doesn't like pumpkin, you're pretty much screwed..hehe) and a nap. The heat (mid 30s) is getting to me as well, since we're not on the coast, the wind comes from the desert and is just hot. So I'm drinking a lot, taking calcium tablets as well as salt tablets cos after the drama it the Nullabor Plain I really don't want to get dehydrated! And, i quit the candy and added some fruit so I'm actually living quite healthy. Next week Im gonna try to start going to the gym cos I can't exercise here. During the day it is way to hot to run and when it cools down I can't walk around on my own. Shouldn't really do it during the day either but I just can't stand being around people all the time. I have wondered though, what was going through my mind when I paid about 2000 GBP to stay three months in a poor country, where it's bloody hot, I can't walk around on my own with my mp3 to listen to some tunes while I sort my head out cos I might just get shot any minute. But I know that's not really fair. It's still getting to me, though.
Anyways, stop the whinging and back to the story.
After the creshe, we met the group of YWAMs , which is a christian group (Youth With A Mission) who is working with the street kids from the kibbutz as well. They are christians, but they are actually quite cool. They're all about my age and they are from all over the United States. So every evening they do some activity, like drama, testimony, prayers and stuff. I told them straight out I was an atheist but they are cool with it. Not so the street kids, they can't believe I"m not one of God's children and when I told them I believed in myself they said me that Satan's gonna get me. Oh well. we still get along. ;)
On Wednesdays is the compulsory devotion thingy where everyone gathers in the hall for prayers and songs. Cool enough, the songs are actually quite fun.

I'm just thinking, maybe I should tell you all abit about the kibbutz before I start writing more about this last week. Well, it was built about 10 years ago in a township called Roodeval, the worst and most violent township in Worcester, where two gangs, the BFK (Born Free Kids) and teh CTS (Cape Town Scorpions) were having constant warfares. It all started with some religious people who wanted the killing to end. so the kibbutz is in the middle of the border to the gangs' territories. Which explains why it is so dangerous outside of teh Kibbutz itself. At the kibbutz, we have a girls' and a boys' house and teh kids who live there either don't have any parents or the parents live on the street themselves. Most of them are about 8-18 years old but they all look a lot younger, due to the drugs they have been taking. They have been in foster homes, orphantages and jail and TB (tuberculosis) is quite common. Every week a nurse comes and does HIV tests.
but then there are lots of kids who come around just during the day, for example there are about 140 kids at the creshe. And only 3 women who work there. So every day two of us volunteers go and help out. The way the women interact with the kids is also quite rough, they always yell and smack the kids around, even when they are just playing or screaming. No huggs, laughs or cuddles. Same at school, it's just all about discipline. So we try to kinda balance that a bit.
The kids who are coming around for the day are living in the flats close by, I hope I get to take some pictures to show you..it's awful and I can't imagine what it's like to grow up there. The area in the center of the blocks, where the kids are supposed to play is covered with broken glass and rocks, there is garbage everywhere. Quite shocking even if you have seen pictures on the news. And at the moment, I am living amongst those people.

But back to the story (which I know, is gettingwaaay to long....)
So yesterday i went to the primary school which is just across the road to observe some teaching and maybe assist a little bit, like Kate and Angi had done the day before. So Kate went to look for "her teacher" while I went to talk to andre, the principal to introduce myself and to see where I am needed. Couldn't find him but I ran into Jordan, another guy who was appearantly in charge cos he just took me with him to find something to do for me. And he did.
You know guys, at the TEFL course in Oxford, they told us that we would start assisting teachers, doing it all step by step and that we wouldn't be put up in front of a class and expected to teach out of the blue.
Well, let me tell you: That's exactly what happened to me yesterday.

Jordan found indeed a class but unfortunately, there was no teacher. He said, " just keep them occupied for a few minutes, tell them a bit about yourself. I'll be back in a bit and ask them quesetions about it." Said that he left and nerver returned.
So I was standing in front of about 25 ten-year olds who were starting to get bored and thought starting a paper ball fight would be a great welcome for the stupid german girl...
But somehow I managed to get them back into their seats, and since they do understand a bit of engish I told them about myself, hoping that Jordan would show up sometime soon but when that didn't happen I just copied some of the things I learned at the TEFL course (I AM SO GLAD I WENT THERE! THANKS TO OUR TUTOR IONA AND ALL THE OTHER STUDENTS WHOSE IDEAS I COULD STEAL!!) and did the past and teh present tense. Then the bell rang and I realised that I was still alive.
During the break i tallked to a teacher next door and she was nice enough to let me borrow some english book so within two minutes I planned the next lesson: family members and a listening?pronounciation exercise. that worked well, exept for the fact that the kids just refused to read out loud so I read the text to them, explaining new vocabulary, asking them questions about the context and drilling pronounciation. Hey, they even raised they hand when they knew something, hehe!
Third period I realised that I get different studets every period because they move class rooms. So I kinda mixed the things from lesson 1 and 2 and I almost felt like I was getting a bit of structure here...worked great, it was actually fun and I didn't hear the bell ring. Since the students are drilled to obey the teacher, no one got up or said anything so i was a bit startled when the next group of students came in...
So great day at the school even though after the adrenaline rush lost its power, i was quite exhausted, put of course, proud as hell to not have drowned...;)

Since this post is getting awefully long i will make things short...

health: good, better, the best I have felt since Australia! If I did a rating like Jaan on ascale from 1 to 10 (OBVIOUSLY like he said, hehehe..) I would give it at least an 8.2 which is pretty damn good! I can't belive how fast things have improved and I'm pretty sure it can't be the new antibiotic I 'm taking (sorry doc, haha..) cos I felt better within hours of being in the hostel in Cape Town. I hardly cough during the day, only in the mornings but after the nebs I'm all good. I don't even need nebs in the evening, just a bit of AD and some exercise (which i will work on this coming week..!) SO I can def. say that physically I feel tops!
Mentally..different story. It's still a big culture shock for me and I need to get used to a lot of things, like peoples mind-sets which is a challenge I have definitely underestimated. I hate the fact that I can't walk around on my own without considering being shot any minute. The role of the woman is appearantly a lot less dominat than what it is in Europe and the kids def. lack respect for others.
the girls seem to feel all sorry for them but I guess I just don't have any sympathy in general. Yeah, they have a tough life but I just think "quit whinging, get over it, get your arse up and make the best of it". The girls (when i say that I always refer to Kate/Sarah/Angie) buy them loads of stuff and believ every word the boys tell them. and many times they are just full of shit and to be honest, they have survived on the streets for many years, so they are absolute pros in manipulating people. Sometimes it's so obvious but the girls still skip their lunch just so they can give it away which i find a bit absurd considering that we have paid for food & accomodation. I think we are here to work and help them out in other ways, not buying them materialistic shit and give them a picture of the rich european girls who can just afford to give them all our money. But enough of it all....more next time!

I have tried to add another link with pictures, following Jaan's instructuions (again!) so If we are luck you should be able to click on "pics" and you'll get to my photo page. Not that many pictures yet but it's a start and I am hoping to add some more soon. It's just a bit difficult here and I don't wanna offend anyone. So give me a few more weeks to get to know people better and you will get to see where I (and some others) live.

Sorry for this long post guys..I promise I will try to get on the net twice a week so post will be more fun to read and not such long stories!

And thanks again for all the mail, keep writing, makes me feel missed, hehe!

all the best to you guys, i feel sorry for everyone freezing in germany..I have had my first sunburn, hahah!

@ the surf 'n' chill backpackers in Cape Town

2006-01-22T18:28:00.000Z

Yeah, guys..I've made it..even though the trip here has already been so adventorous...
It all started with my flight from Bremen to London Luton being an hour late which meant that there was only very limited public transport available to get to London city. No biggie, really but the group of germans who got off the plane was quite confused and helpless. One elderly lady was trying desperately to call her daughter in London to pick her up. Didn't work until I showed her how to unlock the keypad from her mobile. And then there's a girl, Melanie, who was visiting her friend in London for the first time but the direction she got didn't work anymore cos some tubes stopped running. So Kai, a bloke I met on the plane and I took her with us to King's cross and drew her a map of where she needed to go. Poor girl was panicking, she couldn't even buy her own ticket...
So I finally got to the bus station at Hammersmith where I waited for Becky to pick me up. When we got to her place, there were loads of people around cos every one of her flatmates seemed to have a friend sleeping over. So i was quite lucky to safe myself a spot on the sofa to crash. Not before playing a round of the famous " where's Jankas accent from" game and one girl actualy said that I had the strongest Kiwi accent she'd ever heard...!!!
Anyways, after a very lazy morning (thanks for the delicious french toast, becky!) and some funny girlie talk(ah, your earrings look nice today...oh, I love your new boots, where did you get them from...) we decided to all go out for a booze lunch which was fantastic and so Becky and I totally forgot the time and when we did check our watches we had to run, get my bag and rush to the substitute bus to Akton Town since they were working on the district line. So I was running a bit late, having to catch the tube to Heathrow but luckily i knew my way around quite well since it had only been two months since we took Jaan to the airport.
No problems at the check-in, I told them about the medication in my bag but they just didn't care at all. Great, so i rushed through the security check and to the departure gate only to find out I had lost my boarding pass. So, 20 minute walk back again to the security people who told me to ask at the gate..argh!!! Back at the gate, I found my boarding pass, I had mixed it up with my tickets back to London in April...
Then, boarding on the plane where I found out I had the absolut shit seat: in the middle of the middle....but then, it turned out that I actually had quite a cool guy sitting next to me from South Africa (he looks like a mixture between Peter and Russel Crowe) so we chatted for the 10 hours the flight lasted. Means, I was dead tired when I arrived in Johannesburg.
There I had to get my luggage, go through all the security check again and properly check out, leave the aiport, walk for half a mile (or so) and then get back in at the domestic departure terminal. And all that in less than half an hour, trying to cope with the sudden weather change.
Ah..I loved it...
So swetty as hell but right on time I checked my bag in again, again mentioning my meds for the customs and again, no one cared...WHY DO I WRITE THOSE DOCUMENTS FOR...?!
Anyways..ran to the gate, this time with my boarding pass, sat down in my assignet seat (window this time, yaay!!) and fell fast asleep. Seriously, I didn't even notice the take-off.
I was supposed to be picked up at the airport by someone from the volunteer-organisation but as expected...not a soul waiting for me. I know Germans tend to be exactly on time and they ofetn expect others to do the same so i thought I'd chill a bit but aftervtwo ours of hanging around and getting strange looks I decided to call my in-land coordinator and ask what the deal was. Nice, they simply forgot to pick me up cos I wasn't at the international arrivals like all the others, i was at the domestic ones. So all the volunteers had been picked up and taken to the hostel here in Cape Town where we all are staying until tomorrow, exept for me, the german idiot..hehe
So the driver had to come back and pick me up, a funny dude who's new in the job and was really sorry..I found it hilarious, I hadn't expected anything else.
So we had a fun ride back to the hostel and because they didn't realise i was coming, the hostel dorm for the volunteers was already full, which means now I have a double room al by myself...nice! Especially when i do my nebs in the morning.
So all day we were just chilling, chatting to other volunteers and having a great barbeque out on the porch...ah, that's so cool! Quite wicked though as well, when 24 hours ago I was in freezing cold London...

So tomorrow we're having the orientation at 9.00 am and then we'll be taken to our projects.

Healthwise, I have to say, my lungs felt so much better the moment I got off the airport in London, which doesn't really make any sense but I guess it's psychological. And I'm doing great so far here.

yeah, long post, I better head off to bed. Big day tomorrow.

ah, Jaan: You were totally right about how to upload the pics from my camera to the PC..it worked fine, I just didn't have the camera connected to the PC at first...DO NOT COMMENT THAT, hehehe...

no time for a headline

2006-01-20T18:17:00.000Z

ah..everything is a bit hectic, my dad's taking me to the airport in 10 mins, and I have just finished the last task of my TEFL course...right in time! Now I gotta see whether I have passed...
Everything is packed, the second nebuliser I ordered ( I need two cos one always fucks up!) got here this arvo and yesterday my doc called me to tell me they found another stupid germ in my mucous..so I had to run to the hospital and get the prescription for another antibiotic I have to take for two weeks.....but that's all done now, so I'm ready to go!
Take care y'all....and I hope I'll be able to post some cool stuff quite soon!

xxx

Only six more days

2006-01-14T19:04:00.000Z

I can’t believe it, time is flying by so fast..!

And what have I been doing?! Well, I finally decided to actually carry all of the medication I need for three months in the bag on the plane. I think it would be possible to send it but I just don’t wanna take that risk. That means, since the meds will take up 9 kilos I can only carry 11 kilos of clothes…what a nightmare…! Hehe…

Then I have packed a box with warm clothes and a one-month supply of medication that my parents will send me because after the volunteering project I’ll fly back into London, aggravate Pete and Trudy a little bit and then head either up to Scotland or down to the south of England to get a job….or do something totally different….;)

I’m also quite busy with the TEFL course (hey, if I don’t skip another day until I leave I’ll manage to get the course done exactly on the 20th..! what a timing..) and I’m starting to realise that even though I think I’m quite fluent in this language, I have no clue about the grammar and might just be useless as a teacher. I mean, I had no idea that the plural of ox is oxen. Or that the plural of cactus is not necessarily cacti.. it can be cactuses..! They’re talking about “auxiliary verbs” and I can hardly pronounce the a- word, there are so many things to keep in mind about how to use the board, what to do and even more important: what not to do, how to correct students without simply telling them the correct answer, how to “elicit the target language”, what’s a ”tense” and what’s a “form” … and I’m only half way through the course yet..! So yeah, maybe I should reconsider the idea of travelling the world as an English teacher…

Good thing though, I have finally won the wrestling match with my mp3 player so now it does what I want it to do (most of the time anyways) and after putting about 800 songs on it without being connected to the internet I think I deserve that all the way.

I have also attended a meeting of the CF association here in Bremen (for the first time of my life I think!). I told them about my Africa project and they were actually quite enthused about it. So know I’ll write an article for their homepage about my travels which I’ll try to update every two weeks. Kinda a short german version of my blog posts.

Then last but not least something about my health. I had a clinic check up yesterday and a lung function with an FEV1 of 54% (forced expiratory volume – the amount of air exhaled in one second) which isn’t great at all but to be honest I had expected it to be worse. I feel a lot worse than 54%, still coughing a lot, can’t sleep properly and just feeling shit altogether. But the doc said that is has to do a lot with me being so nervous and caught up with packing and stuff. “Mentally overworked”.. hehe… He’s probably right. I said I didn’t want to start any Cipro (antibiotic) at the moment and just see if the climate change in Africa will do me any good. I’ll still take some with me just in case.

So yeah, that’s it again….this week is full of having leaving drinks, making a few last phone calls or writing some emails to tell everyone I’m off….

…cos it’s only 145 hours until I leave..!

...sold!

2006-01-07T22:19:00.001Z

Okay, this year isn’t starting out too bad….I finally managed to sell my car for 1600 Euros which isn’t too bad at all considering the fact that the lil' Twingo looked pretty rough (ah..c´mon..it was my first car, I got it three weeks after I got my license…and walls tend to get too close to me so the sides were a bit scratched.. and I hade e few bumps in the front and in the back cos when I park it I touch the car in front of me and behind me a bit to make sure I’m exactly in the middle….there’s nothing wrong with that..!).
Anyways….so now, two weeks before I’m about to leave I got my plane tickets, yaaay!!! I’ll leave Bremen on Jan 20th, go to London and stay there overnight. Then I leave from Heathrow in the evening on the 21st , arriving in Johannesburg on the 22nd at something like 9.00 am. After hanging around there for 2 hours it’s just a piece of cake to get to Cape Town, where I’ll arrive at ten past one and will hopefully be picked up by one of those organisation-people….
On that day they’ll give us volunteers an orientation which usually means a bunch of bla..bla that no one really listens to after all that travelling. But I’ll try to pay attention cos on the next day, the 23rd we’re actually starting our projects…

But until then I’m sorting stuff out, there are still a few doctors´ visits on my list…
And because I didn’t have to spend all my Twingo-money on the plane ticket I treated myself to an mp3 player…no biggie for the most of you but since I’m pretty clueless when it comes to technology…a huge thing for me!
I’ve become friends with my mobile but I still struggle a lot with this blog, with pictures and uploads, downloads and setting and edit…..yeah, I know. It’s pathetic.
The thing is, I’m not blessed with a lot of patience nor am I very good at handling frustration. Due to this rather unfavourable combination I just lose it sometimes and have to seek help from my technology-know-it-all-friends Christoph, Jaan and Peter….thanks guys.. here is your round of applause…you’re the reason I’m confident I’ll get this mp3 thingy to work somehow..!

So here’s something about my health: still not too great but not to worry either. I’m coughing a lot when I’m outside because the air is just so cold. Very damp and depressing weather, the sky has a dark grey colour all day long, you can never tell what time it is. Could be 9 in the morning or 5 in the eve.. no difference whatsoever and that shit is just getting to me. Plus, I’m quite productive (which means I cough up a lot of mucous) at the moment and I find that aggravating as hell. That’s part of the reason I don’t go to the gym and exercise inside….I know they’ll all be staring at me and I don’t feel like having conversations like “nah, don’t worry, it’s not the bird flu...just CF..” or better, they’ll tell me to quit the fags…no thanks.
Plus, I know I’ll be getting out of here quite soon and I’m sure the
climate will make a huge difference to my health. It always has. And I’ll be outside more as well.

Yeah, I guess that’s it for now.. I hope I’m not boring anyone to death but it’s just two more weeks and I hope I’ll be writing exciting stories from South Africa…

The last post in 2005

2005-12-31T16:06:00.000Z

There I go, my last post in 2005….makes me think I should write some decent stuff…ah.. maybe not…;)
There’s some great news and some that kinda suck…so whatcha wanna hear first…?
Well, the bad news is that after getting the CT done it’s pretty obvious that I’ll have to get surgery. I know, after 13 years of being so slack with it, I guess I could have expected that. But it just doesn’t fit at all into my already tight schedule…!!!
I mean, it’s not super-urgent, the doctor even said that for ignoring the polyps for that long he would have expected things to be much worse. But something has definitely to be done…
So yeah, no way I’ll mess with this shit before Africa. But after I have finished the volunteering programme it will be mid-April and that’s when I’m planning to go back to the UK, get a decent job for the summer and maybe get some more TEFL qualifications so by the time it gets cold I can leave and go to Latin America and work there as a paid English teacher.
That is, if things don’t change along the way…haha!
Ah.. hell, my polyps could wait 13 years, they can do another year or two…I’ll try to get things sorted out before I move back to Australia..;)
Enough of that, let’s get to the good news….
After emailing and making phone calls all around the world I have finally found the ultimate CF contact in Cape Town!!
Karin Kratz, a lovely lady who is the chairman (or woman..?!) of the CF Association in South Africa and mum of a 37-year-old CFer. She gave me lots of information about bringing my meds into the country (the Embassy of South Africa said I couldn’t post any kind of drugs by mail and I could only bring a one-month-supply with me in the suitcase. Well, since I’m staying there for three months, that’s not gonna help me much, is it..?!) and I’m sure I’ll manage to get a lung function somehow once I’m there…
For the customs I’ll get a letter from my doctor, a list of the medication I’m taking, explaining what every medicament is for plus a paper explaining what CF is. That should do it for a 3-month-supply in my luggage. If they still bitch, I’ll get them to call Mr. Willcox, the CF-doctor at the clinic in Cape Town.
So I’m glad I got that done and I’ll make sure I’ll give Karin and the CF clinic a visit..!

Other than that I've gotten another two vaccination shots.... so only one more to go..yaay!
And I'm starting to freak out cos it’s only like 3 (THREE!!!) weeks until take-off…!! I always get this before a “big” trip….first, I’m all excited and can’t wait for the time to come…and the, like now…BOOM! I start to panic, write bitchy, frustrated and drowning-in-self-pity kinda emails to a certain person I hope doesn’t care too much and just hits the “delete” button a coupla times…( Cheers, Jaan!!), my level of confidence drops to about zero and I’m convinced that “I just can’t do that!!”
You think with the travelling I have done so far things should get better…well, they don’t.

But apart from that I’m good to go and finally escape this winter weather ( I’ve busted my arse twice today riding my dad’s push bike on the snowy-icy road…grrr!!)

So yeah… everyone getting wasted tonight…. Have a drink for me as well since I’m planning on staying sober…( as surprising as that might sound for a certain group of people….hehe)

I’m so looking forward to a lot of things this year….I have no resolutions but lots of plans….and I know most of you do as well…so let’s go for it!!

Have a great 2006 everyone and I hope I’ll get to see some of you this comin´year !!!
xxx

ps. ah...and of course I'm joining Becky's "let's copy Jaan" campaign...so here is what I'm listening to: the mars volta - de-loused in the comatorium

Vaccination day....and more doctors....!

2005-12-27T18:12:00.000Z

Well, x - mas is over and I´m kinda glad…I´m not too big on this family-get-together-all-smiley-happy-faces…
Plus, I´m so busy I don´t really have time for any kind of holiday…it´s amazing how many more little things pop up only a few weeks before take-off that have to be done or organised or dealt with…and evidently my time-management needs improving…;)
I just got in touch with Cystic Fibrosis Worldwide to see who´s in charge of the National CF Association in South Africa. I need to know whether I can bring all my meds into the country without problems (sometimes they are a bit funny about antibiotics…) but from my experience everything up to a 3-months supply is fine with a doctor´s letter. I prefer to just carry a months-supply in my suitcase and post the rest by mail. That way I can carry more clothes.. and yeah, I guess I´m a bit of a girl about that.. I don´t care though….hehe.
So I have to ask, maybe even call the South African Embassy, if it´s possible to post my meds. I have always done that on my previous travels but I´m not sure about how things are in Africa.
Usually no one really knows what the deal about all that is exactly so I just pack and post my meds and at the customs act like it´s all been checked before. A few very important-looking documents really help…! And of course, giving the guys at the customs an earful when they wanna start bitching does as well….;)
Then I´ll have to check for CF clinics near Worcester which means the closest is probably in Cape Town. I already have an address but I think I´ll give them a ring and see if I can come by, have a chat with the doctor and maybe even get a lung function sometime around feb or march. I have found it quite useful to have these kind of contacts, that way in case I do need help I already know someone there. Of course, that kinda stuff is gonna be a bit tricky since my insurance doesn´t cover “pre-existing conditions” so obviously CF things (like any tests or doctor´s visits or medication) aren´t gonna be paid for. But from my experience if you get in touch with the right people and ask, there´s always a way around things.
And of course…vaccinations…!
Probably no biggie for most people but I`m just scared as hell of needles..(that´s one reason I keep the IV´s to a limit…waay to much pain)! It´s funny cos I have travelled through half of Australia with a knee that needed surgery, I did Jiu-Jitsu for two years and after practise I would come home all bruised up, I don´t mind getting piercings or tattoos done…so it´s not that I can´t take pain…but when I see a syringe with a needle.. that just makes me wanna run…! I was actually quite lucky that I got half of the requested vaccination stuff done before I went to Australia…so lucky me.. I only have to get six shots…argh!
Some of the vacc. I´m getting is because I´ll be working with street kids, for example typhoid fever and rabies. There´s nothing you can do really for malaria exept for take some pills when you go in a certain area…but some stuff doesn´t go well with my antibiotics so I guess there´s some useful information…;)
So the other day I got three of the six shots….and for two days I was basically out of it. To be honest, I had a bit of a cold and you´re not supposed to get shots when you feel ill already…but I didn´t have much of a choice. Between the rabies shots there has to be a certain period of time and since I´m leaving in less than four weeks….yeah, I know….next time..;)
I felt shit for a coupla days, then xmas and today…dadaaaaa…I went to another doctor to get my polyps (I think Jaan described it as “pea-sized growth that grows in your sinuses...quite common for CFers"….so i´ll just copy that, haha) checked out. I mean, I know I have them cos I have lost my sense to smell things a while ago….not that it bothered me enough to go to a doctor then, though. And now it has been more than ten years since they last removed them…yeah, time just flies by…! To be honest, the only reason I went now is because when I met Jaan in London he made me feel so slack (he claimed he got his removed every coupla years..!) that I had to get it done…cheers, Jaan, hehe.. !Tomorrow I have to go and get a CT so they can see what they`ll have to do. It´s not that urgent though so no drama if surgery has to wait until after Africa…

Anything else? Nah.. only that the weather sucks…a lot of rain, a bit of some snowy-mushy stuff ..nowhere near enough to have a snowall fight…so I can´t wait to get out of here…!

New year - new trip....

2005-12-24T13:49:00.000Z

So..what exactly am I gonna be doing?!

well, because 2005 hasn´t been too great for me (after returning form Australia in January, I fell into this traveler-comes-home-and-doesn´t-know-what-to-do-with-it-hole. Due to the rainy and cold weather here in Germany, a break-up in a realtionship and some troubles at home I had a severe health break-down including weight loss and my lung function results to drop dramatically.
In Australia I realised that a warm and dry climate hasa very positive effect on my lungs so I packed my bags again and went to Spain. It was meant to be a 2-week vacation in Malaga to get better and to sort my head out....and I endet up staying for 6 months. Did a language course and worked in a bar.
My health got better there but I was really unsure of what to do with my life. You think if you have less time you sure as hell don´t wanna waste any of it...so traveling like this was great in a way but (coming from a family whose ethics are quite big on working and being independant) it´s not really a career to just have a low-paid job - hey..I got 4.30 EUR/hr in the bar...! even backpacker jobs in oz were paid better..hehe - here and there. And I had basically been living out of a backpack since I left for Australia in June 2004 - it´s exhausting after a while and I could feel myself losing energy. So I wanted to kinda "settle down", at least for a while (yeah..go on... all of my friends will have a laugh at me for that one...! that´s why I won´t even mention my attempt on getting a "serious" job...hehe) but had no idea where. By that time I had gotten tired of Malaga and was thinking of moving to Barcelona. But then I endet up going to Turin in North Italy with a friend - big ol´hugg to Patrizia, my fave raggazza..! - where i didn´t stay very long beacuse of the weather. Very moist and rainy which amde my lungs worse.
So I decided to head back to Germany, stay at my parents for a while, get an IV therapy - lasts for two weeks, 3x a day you get a strong dose of antibiotics trough a tube straight into the vein. To fight the germs in the lungs. very annoying..!! - and make up my mind about - some of - my future.)
ah....what was I talking about before giving you all this banter about what happened this year....?! Right, so 2005 kinda sucked so I wanted to for 2006 to start off a bit better...I chose South africa for its climate (it`s gonna be summer there...30°C...will be running around in shorts...ah...nice!). I´ll be living in a kibbutz in Worcester near Cape Town where I´ll be doing "Communtity developement" as a volunteer for 3 months. Means, I´ll be working with street kids, HIV orphants, drug addicts..etc. Might do some teaching as well (that´s why I just did a TEFL - teaching english as a foreign language - course in Oxford which was fantastic by the way).
One reason for doing this is because I have always worked in Hospitality and I´m wondering if that´s really what i want to do.
I would like to try out something different and I want so see another country without traveling like a backpacker. I think you always get to know a different side of a country and its culture if you work work with its people. i´m doing this with a british organisation that has volunteer- and teaching projects all over the world. i decided to do that rather than going on my own because I have never been to South Africa, don´t know anyone there and basically..have no idea what I´m getting myself into...;)
So I thought it would be nice to have someone to turn to if necessary...and on Jan 22nd I´m flying out to Cape Town..into another adventure..haha!
This volunteer programme lasts until april 16th and by that time I should have come up with something to do afterwards. Right now my mind is pretty much set on going to the UK (maybe Scotland or South of England) and working there for a while. Cos I´ll need the money - either for a trip to Latin America or for going straight back to Australia (I´ve heard Adelaide is supposed to be nice...?! hehe).
But none of that is set in stone yet....anyone who knows me is used to my plans changing quite frequently....;)
So for now I´m just busy with preparing for South Africa...getting some CF contacts as well as some information about bringing my meds into the country, health check-ups, vaccination, kicking my self in the arse to do some exercising (trying to get my lungs in shape....cos at the moment it´s not all that great)...hehe..and, of course...packing (ah..I´ll probably leave that to the night before take-off....as usual..)!

well, more about all that (or whatever else I think I need to write about...) in my next post...
For now I hope you all have a good x-mas..is anyone having a white one by the way..?!

the first post

2005-12-20T14:16:00.000Z

So here it is. My blog.
Finally, after a lot of "Hin und Her" like we Germans say, I decided to follow this mainstream of blogging.
Reason Nr.1: I just hate mass emails and I´m tired of listening to the bitching of my dear friends ("what have you been doing...? I haven´t heard from you in ages....! Are you still alive...?!" etc..)..hehe..I know, I´m quite slack with the writing...;)
But this blog isn´t just about my travels and keeping in touch with my friends.
It´s also about me and my life with Cystic Fibrosis. Some of my friends don´t even know I have CF, they probably don´t even know what it is. Some of you guys know about it, but only that "it´s something like asthma" and that it makes me cough. Can´t blame you for that though, cos that´s what I told you.
Friends that I have since childhood know about me and CF but we never talked about it so they know I have it but they don´t know how I feel about it.
The reason for this weird "mezcla" is that depending on the stage of my life where I met those folks, I dealt with my CF quite differently.
As a child, I didn´t really care if people knew about me having Cystic Fibrosis but as a teenager and especially when I started working I became more aware of it and how it affected my surroundings. And I was always healthy enough to hide it.
I didn´t do that out of embarassement. I just didn´t want for the Cystic Fibrosis to influence my life, I didn´t want any advantages or disadvantages because of my health condition.
Adjusting my life to Cf in any way meant for me "giving up" or "letting CF take over my life" and i certainly didn´t want that.
I was thinking a lot in "black-and-white" and that only changed on my work & travel trip in Australia 2004/05.
Ways of live there are much relaxter than they are here in Germany (or did I just have a different mind-set..??) and I began to see things about my CF a bit differently.
I realised that if I didn´t keep on fighting the CF so aggressively and even sometimes ignoring it, but rather deal with it, I end up living happier - and healthier.
That doesn´t mean I take more meds than before or spend more time with doctors. But I do consider my health more when it comes to making decisions about where or how I travel or live, what kind of work I look for or how and what I tell my friends.
Part of it is this blog.
I want to get it straight, not to dramatise things but I vowed to myself that I keep posting even when my health isn´t at its best. So if I start being slack, someone better remind me of these lines...!

ah...and before anyone starts wondering why I´m writing in English...
Due to my previous travels and living abroad, my group of friends is quite international and i didn´t feel like making a dutch, italian, american, spanish, swedish, belgium, french and german version (..not that I would actually be able to DO that...hehe) so i figured english is a language we can all agree on....:)

...which leads me to the next thing: I´m obviously not writing in native language, so please excuse

wrong grammar
wrong use of words
foul language - I´ll try to keep it at a min...promised! (to blame are certain britsh/american/canadian/australian individuals I travelled/lived with...!!) If substituted for a word I couldn´t think of...creative minds, new words are always welcome!!

Damn, this is my first post - the hardest thing to do!! - and it´s probably just as boring as all the other "first entries"..but as least it´s not as short... :)

ah..better stop now and start tomorrow with a proper post about what I´m doing...cos this is why I started this bloody blog in the first place, eh?!